Felt by me

If only words knew what i wanted to say now,
I must be lonely forever or I am in love....
missing all the moments, the sweet little time
with you and your smile that brightened my life!
It must have been a dream or some spell
that I saw your eyes and couldn't tell
whether it was a mirage or was it real
but whatever it was, it was deeply felt....
and i guess i must be in love with me
I must be a narc and I just can't see
the beautiful spark in your eyes,
your honest beauty and my wicked lies.

I wish I could write down...

I wish I could write down like I used to... but now-a-days its more like laziness has crept over me and I'm stranded inside of me. I'm working two jobs 6 1/2 days a week to make sure my idle mind doesn't get it fodder for devil and my pocket stays comfy. But still I'm getting all weaned up of my earlier creative side which included newspaper clippings and poems and stories and novels alike.

I wish I could write down like I used to... about the times I felt like killing my wrist and live but I never did it and instead used to pen, to write down the shame. I wrote down everything that I felt under sunburn. Today, I'm writing it all but not in details like I used to. My words are not as sharp as it was with life before, with narrow tips and broader lips, I used to catch all my figments with words.

I wish I could write down like I used to... with angst and pangs and songs and dance performed by paragraphs and stanzas and quarts and limericks and acrostics and haikus. But those were the times when I had lot of time to gaze into the greenery around the emptiness of sky and the cloud of rains and smile. I laughed a lot then with hardly any care of how the brutal world could get and how wrong was I.

I wish I could write down like I used to... of endless anecdotes I'd love to entail for legacy to be made out of me. I know this futile dream of fame and glory for my work which I haven't did, is so true to me. Its so numbingly naive and full of dices and displays of luck at every crossroad of time. I don't desire to be read now for I don't care anymore. I just wish to write like I used to.

I wish I could write down like I used to... like I'm doing now...

Federer & Roddick story at SW19

So it was done just like I thought except a bit of improvisation in the final moments. I was wishing that Murray will face the riposte from Feddie boy but coincidentally it was Andy Roddick who went through the drill.

Federer and Roddick have a history of their own and it goes back to their junior days as well but as far as the professional men's tennis is concerned, Federer clearly thumped out better and stronger among the two with 18 victory out of 20 matches with the "King of Tennis". So in a nutshell, it would have been an one-sided affair. But it wasn't meant to be an one-sided story. And it wasn't.

Roddick came to Center Court focused like never before as he knew exactly what it means to be facing Federer on the other side of the net and he remembers how he was reined like a mule by Roger in the US Open in 2006 in front of his cheering crowd. The game plan was to attack Federer with piercing serve and approaching net as many times as possible and this stratagem clearly paid off in the first set itself. He won the first set of the duel with a breakpoint at the very end. So the score now was at 1-0 in Rod's favor.

The second set too was all about holding service and attacking with everything possible and trying to keep the set elongated and durable. But the balance was again tilting in Roddick's favor with the second set reaching a tie break where Roddick again held his serve and posted a 6-2 lead, needing just one point to wrap up the second set. But here's where Federer proved why he is what he is considered and called. He changed the complete face of the tie break and stalled Roddick (who committed some uncharacteristic unforced errors too) at 6 and moved from 2 to 8 thus winning the second set 7-6 (8-6).

Third set again was all too similar to 2nd set and approached tie breaker where Federer showed his upper hand and won the set 7-6 (7-5). By this time, most of the punters must have assumed that Federer will chalk out the match within four set and kiss the golden trophy.

However, Fourth set saw the resurgence of A-Rod and broke Federer's service twice to grab the set 6-3. Mind you, till now Federer failed to gain even a break point in spite of having several feasible chances, which meant Roddick has managed to remain unbroken against Federer for four consecutive sets which became a Grand Slam record in itself for him against Roger in 8 meetings.

So the match is tied at 2-sets each and fifth set was the decider and no one would have guessed that this set would be the longest 5th-setter ever in Wimbledon history lasting 95 minutes and 30 games. Last year, it was an epic battle between Federer and Nadal. This year, it was an epic 5th-setter and it did amazed everyone from retired "legends" sitting in front row to Rog & Rod's family and team to boisterous crowd to millions glued to TV.

Now the game is overwhelming at 14-15 in Roger's favor and Rod is trying to avoid break point and stay alive in the match. Roger Federer who didn't break Roddick's serve even once till now does so when its needed the most and exalts a huge yelp of relief and creates history in the meantime with all the dignitaries including Pete Sampras, Bjorn Borg and Rod Laver delivering a standing ovation to the true "King of Sward". Roddick looked heartbroken but that didn't downed his sense of humor when he pointed to Sampras and said, "Sorry, Pete. I tried to hold him off."

Roger Federer's French Victory!

Yesterday, on June 7th, 2009, Roger Federer won the French Open Title for the first time ever, after being denied the exclusive Musketeers Cup by Rafael Nadal for the past 4 years and thus, once and for all he proved that he doesn't have to answer any more questions related to '"Who is the best player ever?" debate.... coz the verdict is out... HE IS AND HE WILL BE THE BEST EVER.....

How many players of any era can claim to have such long success on tour as he did... how many players can claim lore and legends to their closet like he does and that too at the age of 27!... and no other player enjoy crowd support like he does due to his calm demeanor, no fuss, no controversy lifestyle, his fluency in more than 3 languages, his school boy looks and no doubt, his exceptional ease on the court with his racket and his executive shots...

This isn't the end of a jinx... its just a beginning of an incredible story for ages to come and ponder and wonder that a boy from the shadows of Alps came up to conquer the tennis world with huge dreams in his eyes and an impatient fire in his belly.... and eventually did, unsurprisingly!

No wonder, after his grand success in a finale, he is heaped with praises from every corner of the tennis world, from almost every old-timers who carry value to their words are validating his claim to history as the best tennis player ever. One of these "worder" was a guy featured against him in the final itself, Robin Soderling from Sweden who overcame a bevy of top ranked players in the tournament including Nadal, Ferrer, Davydenko and Gonzalez but conspicuously looked like a novice on the court and in his own admission said, "Federer makes me play bad...."

Like some say, Federer is the best player ever and that is certified by the best player ever himself (read Rod Laver!!!).

Good things around me!!!

The world seems 2 b gettin better....coz UPA is back wid a thump n Rahul G reminds us of his dad n his squeaky clean image...Pakistan ws the 1st country 2 congratulate the new govt!...Obama is working its way wid Africa, starting wid Ghana which i believe is a stepping stone or shud i say, shot in the arm for African poverty...n wat else 2 feel happy abt?.. yes, Speaker in House of Commons ws made 2 step down due 2 some expense related controversy, thus rewriting a 300 yr record of not impeaching any speaker under any condition.... then there is Sharmila Tagore in colorful saree rubbing shoulders wid the like of Robin Wright, Baman Ghodabi and Saïd Taghmaoui.... n even Ash smiling away 2 camera-clicks!... wat else?... yup, then the new Poet Laureate is a woman 4 the 1st time ever... n she's a lesbian too!! can't get better!!!.... then LTTE having a funeral down south, no more "world's most successful terrorist outfit tag to carry n worry"....Ang Sang Suu Kyi too seem 2 gather thin hope of getting free at last coz protests hv never been so loud b it Paris or Durban.....AR Rehman will work in a full-fledge Holly movie 4 the 1st time ever, Federer smiled after a long time, Phelps showed his human side (i mean in pool, he showed his demonic side bit earlier wid dat pot!!!)... then there's my home in Sanpada which i never liked 2 return bt rite now i just can't wait 2 get bck 2 my abode coz i kno no1 is there waiting 4 me n dat feeling is so feelsome!!!!...just 4 a change, wanted 2 c wat is gud abt my ambiance!!!

Voted for the 1st time n felt all patriotic n empowered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So my motherland India is having its general election and i stay in Mumbai so we had our poll yesterday and this was the first time i ever voted in a 'political' election.........now the excitement all started a while ago, long before yesterday... coz i too like most of my fellow youths didn't believed in voting corrupt politicians to power (and let me remind you that today, politicals bigshots in India are not like Gandhi or Patel or... in simple words, most of them are easy sleazeballs hungry for power) so i wasn't keen to exercise my adult franchise.

But in February this year, i came across an article on Hindustan Times that kind of questioned our youth's apathy which they have started confusing for anarchy! Simple procrastination is now perceived as defiance of "old world order". Most of the youth don't want to be active in any program that doesn't bother directly with their career and luxury. This is very much evident with the lack of student protests which is hardly seen on our streets like the way it is pronounced and visible in other major cities.

I don't wish to sound like a total renegade here going all against my city just because i dared to vote this time for my very first time but the ground reality is youth is getting wasted on youth, like they say.

Coming back to my voting experience, well there's hardly anything to add coz the whole affair got over in less than 15 minutes i guess so there's hardly anything to say about it except that the indigo-mark they left on my middle finger nail is flashed around innocently!!!! But still its a bit more than just saddening that only 43%, give or take, turned out this time for voting and for a city that breathes life every single moment, its a sign of complete disregard to the call of civil duty. The truth remains that democracy came too easily to India whereas to the CIS nations, they had to face a mighty long-faced Commie govt....

"Voting doesn't change things overnight but it atleast gives you an opportunity to throw around your valuable rejections...."

A prank gone all wrong

The following is inspired by a true story...

There was this girl in a Medical College and stayed in hostel. She was beautiful, rich and spoilt. She was a bit disturbed by some personal problems and didn't like mingling with other students on campus. This created a sort of sequestrated feel about her character. She was probably the only girl around without any friends, not even female ones. No one knew why she was disturbed and what was her side of the story. Though a lot of fellow students, particularly boys tried to make an advance and kindle friendship with her but she stayed aloof and rejected any relationship. The boys were kept at a distance and girls were envious-pretty balanced scale of enmity.

Slowly but steadily she was becoming the talk of the campus not only because of her solitude but also because of her beauty. She wasn't particularly attentive in classes or practicals but she made sure she was never absent. The teachers had no issue with her detached personality since her grades were decent.
Once, a brash boy who thought he could claim to be the first to develop 'contact' with her, decided to express his love to her and the words he used were heavy with emotions but didn't create the same reaction on the girl. On the contrary, she went ballistic with her rigid response and called him names such as Romeo, chauvinist and a fool!

This encounter from which he had expected to bear romance had gone all sour and prickly. He was no doubt hurt but he wasn't the one to stay silent. He decided to teach this arrogant girl a lesson. He contemplated a plan he thought wasn't horrible but no less innocent either. He along with some of his friends decided to play a prank on her.

So, this girl returned to her room like usual after visiting library and having food at local mess. As soon as she entered the room and locked the door, someone strapped the door shut from the outside as well. Obviously, she was irritated and surprised by this act. She called out to open the door and kept on banging it. But no one responded as if like the whole hostel had gone deaf.
Tired of this prank, she retired to her bed. As she leaned back to lay her head on the pillow, she felt something under the pillow. This was the actual prank awaiting her. So out of curiosity and anger, she lifted the pillow to find an amputated hand which no doubted was made available from College morgue.

A deep shriek boomed out of the room. This cry of fear was reciprocated by a equally loud choir of laughter from the crowd standing outside the door, presumably waiting to hear the bawl. But the laughter outnumbered the wailing voice because the deep sound of fear and angst didn't repeat but the laughter kept on multiplying.
The prank was supposed to have ended here and someone was supposed to unlock the door and let the poor soul out. But that didn't took place, may be everyone were so indulged in laughing riot that they forgot to lower curtain on the show.
As many hours passed by, one of the participating girl realized that no one had opened the door and she decided to open it herself but at the last moment thought it would be better if someone would accompany her so she asked one of her friend and ultimately collected a few more students and they all came to open the door and see if the girl was asleep or what.

But the sight they were going to witness was neither called for nor planned but a severe consequence of a blatantly irresponsible act. As soon as the door flanged open, they saw that there was no one bed, nor under it, the windows were tight shut from inside, and this created panic. Amid this ill puzzlement, someone from the crowd glanced above to the space between the ceiling and cupboard.

The vision of a girl with dried tears and disheveled hair and strange mannerism greeted them. The girl was sitting devoid of any display of emotion on her face but her teeth were busy chewing something. The very sight of this once beautiful girl turned diabolical sent chills through the crowd because she was indiscreetly chewing the amputated hand that was the tool of joke for the crowd staring below.
The mental trauma the girl suffered is unfathomable but the question is the level of barbarism one can stoop to just to get a kick out of it.

[The credit to this story goes to some independent film makers who made a short film on the same story.]