Excuse #401

I've got nothing to say. I wish i did.















Speaking of which, i should wish for bigger things in life!

Accept my exceptions perhaps?

This classic line from one of my favourite movies of all time, The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2013), always makes me think. I keep thinking and thinking and thinking. Then i think harder. And that's when it strikes me that it doesn't matter whether the above quote is true or not. We believe the bullshit we assume we deserve. You can't do anything about it. If you ask me (which i'm sure you won't as i don't give a fuck about replying on time), i'll add that we accept the penis we think we deserve. Like i said, you can't do anything about it either. 

Marry me maybe?

Since i'm an expert in sign languages, i came up with this innovative method of speechless proposal. Accordingly, all you've got to do is flash the ring finger of your left hand. It might look like you're giving a fly to somebody you hate but it's actually an attempt at making a fool of oneself in front of someone you love. That revealed, there are several benefits of this approach. The most prominent one is you avoid making a fool out of yourself in public in case you're one of those who get carried away by an IPL match and propose their lady just because Mumbai Indians is winning. 

Two things can happen in such a scenario: 

a) She ends up storming out of the stands leaving your cryface on the big screen. 

b) You miraculously turn into a single guy with a legendary status on YouTube.  

Yes, if only he showed her his ringie instead of uttering those horrible words. If only. 

♫ Tan-tada-tang ♫

What is it that we need more than anything else? 

• Love? 
• Purpose? 
• Oxygen? 
• Internet? 
• Food?
• Friends?
• Money?
• Cinema?
• Family?
• Tang?

Think about it, will you?

• In the ___ number of years you've spent on earth, there must have been a series of extended moments when you went without love. And still you survived, didn't you?
• Do you REALLY know what your purpose of life is? Most of us don't and that's what keeps us going. If we already knew, it wouldn't have been been so fun. Sounds convincing?
• We breathe not because we need oxygen to survive but because we need to get our body rid of the ever-accumulating quota of carbon dioxide that fuels our system. Got it?
• Internet may be a vital piece of our existence today but we did fine not only before it happened but also when the WiFi sucks and we start looking out of the window. Don't we?
• Of all the things i've become after moving north, i'm most proud of the fact that i am a 5 Star level foodie now. Also, if i can be so inspirational, can't you go without food?
• I like people. I am an Anne Frank in that sense. I like to talk to them and touch them (asexually) but i don't think i have it in me to hold up the torch of friendship. You?
• Is there anything, like anything, that could be as overrated as a piece of paper and a few coins that require more mineral resources to mint them than they are actually worth?
• I used to watch at least a dozen films a week and i'm not even counting documentaries or TV series. But then i moved on. It's not THAT hard when you get a life, isn't it? 
• Everybody dies. Even though it might seem like you are going to be immortal, you are going to need your family for arranging your funeral. But it's OK to rot too, right?  
• Summers can be extremely uncool, specifically when the temperature hits upswing of 40 degree Celsius. In such a scenario, Tang comes as a blessing in orange disguise. 

Conclusion: You need Tang more than anything else in life. 

Shhhhhhhhhit!

Doesn't it bother you that the other end of your mouth is a really disgusting place? Or that these two points could very well be connected, which might explain some of the horrible words we end up saying? Moreover, doesn't that make you ponder about the endless excuses to be so damn filthy? Which we are, anyway. And the gist of this stinky post is to bring it to your notice that our body is continuously creating excreta. It's a very natural process. There are microbes in nature who thrive on the time interval between you take a dump and the moment you press the flush button. So it's all good. Nothing to be ashamed of. 

But.

It's also worth nothing that "you're so full of shit" is actually a true statement owing to the actual length of our intestines. Which also democratizes the feelings we have for each other. Whether you like a person or hate him/her with all your heart, s/he is full of stuff only microbes are fond of. 

Matter of age

Did Buddha desire enlightenment? Or was it something else? Like longevity? Did he know what was going on? Given the translated scriptures at hand, he doesn't come across as a person with goals. Whatever he said were genuine thoughts, right? He sat down, meditated, connected with his inner self, ignited his consciousness and came up with theories—not to forget some of the awesomest oneliners—that sound so damn cool. He even had a pet dog. There's not an iota of doubt that Buddha practised Madhyam Marga as effectively as he preached. Maybe that explains how and why he stopped at his 80th birthday. [Muhammad passed away at 62 and Jesus became the sole founder of Club 33.] When Marco Polo visited India, he was astonished to see thin yogic men crossing 160. If that's the threshold of human endurance, then Buddha's alleged demise through food poisoning makes sense.