Please die!

• What doesn't kill you makes you wronger. 
• What doesn't kill you makes you spend time on Internet.
• What doesn't kill you makes you a reincarnated Hindu.  
• What doesn't kill you makes you wiser.
• What doesn't kill you makes you crib a bit longer than necessary.
• What doesn't kill you wants you to suffer a bit longer. 
• What doesn't kill you mocks. 
• What doesn't kill you makes you vocal about death penalty. 
• What doesn't kill you makes you tweet more.
• What doesn't kill you makes you suicidal. 

Romantic level: Sick

Every time my back itches, i think of you.
And my back itches all the time.
I should bathe properly. 

Yes, i love you too. 

On the seventh day...

• God took to music.
• God said, "Screw this experiment! It's not working."
• God laughed at the mystery that engulfed nothing.
• God already knew what everybody was going to do on their first summer. 
• God rested to figure out what drove him on the first day to such madness.
• God said "Let there be light" instead of "Let there be delight."
• God got irritated and reminded us to thank him for Sunday too.
• God lost count of her mistakes.
• God went to LA and got wasted.
• God created a competitor in the form of a short cricketer.
• God finally stopped procrastinating.
• God turned pro and declared himself infinite.
• God missed humour. 
• God felt loneliness.
• God grinned in between.
• God wondered why weren't there any Udupi hotels yet. 
• God took a break and thought for a while - "WHY ME?"
• God took early retirement.

Rock, stones and pebbles

Millions of years ago, there was a rock lying somewhere. To protect its interest, we won't disclose the location. Regardless of the geography, the sun shined on it for months before it finally cave in. Or cave out, not so sure. It developed a number of cracks in any case. Just a matter of wind before it fully disintegrated. It had to crumble, thus giving birth to heavy smooth stones. The comparatively little ones rolled away from one another, each trying to create its own identity under the sky. But then, how far can stones travel? They had to stop somewhere. And wait. Something what their mother did long ago. It was their turn now. So, they waited. The sun did what it was good at and the wind blew whenever it felt like. The stones family stood where they were hoping to move an inch away. But it never did so. The whole exercise was a pitiless harness of patience. Insofar the amount of hope invested, something noteworthy had to take place. Hence, after a long interval of days turning to night and summer turning to winter, they too found reincarnation by transforming into shiny pebbles. The pebbles seemed smarter though as they harboured no wish to move. They were glad with where they were. Neither the sun bothered them nor the wind or the weather. Being at peace with themselves helped—a luxury that eluded their ancestors.

A for Assholes

Homo Erectus > Neanderthal Man > Cro-Magnon Man > Homo Sapiens > Assholes

After reading the above deduction, you might be wondering whether you're an asshole. If you are, chances are you aren't. Doing what makes you happy doesn't make you selfish. However, if you overdo that, it makes you an asshole. As simple as that. Our whole planet is full of people who hurt others through action, words, intent or accident. Some of them do have reasons. Some of them don't. But it's OK. That's how nature works. Even democracy is three out of five guys concluding that the remaining two are assholes. Anyway, the latter shall inherit the earth. Fuck meeks! You see, the benefit of being an asshole is you can be yourself. There's nothing to hide behind. And it's never too late to be what you are. The advantage of being an asshole is you can always do worse. Sadly, the sophisticated assholes are replacing the original ones. Those who don't know the difference between the two are doomed to deal with the former.