In all probability, pigeons were put on this planet to remind migrants how exactly they behave in public. Full of pomposity. Full of lust. Full of pirouette. Full of oneself. Full of homelessness. And oh yea, full of shit. But your perception about them changes the moment they decide to build a nest in your gallery on the very pot which once housed a suicidal rose plant. Although it takes two to build a home, you see a pair of pigeons basically doing none of the hardwork sparrows put into their shabby abode. These pigeons in our story barely move a twig. As if Mr. Pigeon is saying "Fuhget it, just lay those goddamn eggs into that dry carpet of grass there. It's warm enough." To which the Mrs. Pigeon retorts, "True that, love," before proceeding to spread her legs...well..contour for that final push. Boom! Out comes three eggs. In related news, Mrs P ain't getting laid anytime soon. This rule doesn't apply to Mr P though. From the very first day itself, it becomes apparent that she's a far better dedicated parent. The poor lady, however, took some time to realise that Mr P has ditched her. He's not coming back. Let's hope he got caught in an orgy instead of some electrical short circuit. So she has to hatch on her own every once in a while leaving her fruits of labour exposed to the crows. As misfortune would have it, she returns one afternoon to witness an egg missing. We can guess who did it but being weak in math, she remains ignorant. Being an arithmetically-challenged single mother had never proved more blissful. As we speak, she's on duty protecting her would-be-kids from invisible harm. My camera being one of them.
Thanks for visiting this page but i don't write here anymore. I've moved to Medium (medium.com/shaktianspace) and i am quite regular there. Only the platform has changed. Nothing else. Thanks for your not-so-precious time :)
Showing posts with label urban legends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label urban legends. Show all posts
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Monday, September 9, 2013
Aim but don't shoot!
Ladies, pepper spray is overrated. According to recent studies, it won't work four out of 10 times and even if it does, your safety will depend purely on your ability to sprint. You can't afford to stay in the area where you've unleashed a pepper-heavy whiff. If you don't run, you'll end up falling into your own trap by sneezing in tandem with your assailant/s. So what you need to carry in your purse/clutch/whateverthatisyoucarrywithyou along with a pepper spray is a gun. A real one but unloaded. Nothing scares the shit out of a man like a pistol. It doesn't even have to be filled with bullets. All you need to do is posture. Imagine you're eve-teased or wolf-whistled or violated in any form by the public. Now imagine the reaction on the faces of those who attempted these aforementioned idiocies provided you're aiming a gun at them. You'll attract attention, yes, but you'll also help divert some to ground realities. Women are deemed effete because they've chosen the same. Our nation ain't anti-guns so i'm not really propagating anything unconstitutional. You can legally register and thus get a firm grip on reality. Moreover, when a messenger is bringing a bad news, it's OK to scare him.
Labels:
extreme measures,
ill advise,
Shakti Shetty,
urban legends
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