If you happen to read my blogs regularly, you’ll notice me notice two things: One, you readers are in the minority and two, I’ve been writing about my family for a change, recently. The reason could be anything from lack of perception to laziness. But trust me, I enjoy doing so!
Yesterday, my parents celebrated their 25th year of marriage. I’m purposefully not using ‘wedding’ here. Wedding happens every day but marriage takes time. They got married on 31st of May, 1985 and it’s been a long journey for them. For a pessimist like me who doesn’t conform to societal norms which sadly includes MARRIAGE too, I find my parents “conjugal bliss” overwhelmingly inspiring!
I’m not being judgmental here but we Indians tend to fight against all absurdity of individual space and try our best to make our marriage a success, unlike in the West. My parents were no different I guess. They always had their altercations; even on the smallest of issues like the taste of salt in food or the way Amma dressed us. They could argue on the stupidest of event. So the question keeps lingering in my head……...HOW DO YOU GET ALONG WITH A PERSON AS A SPOUSE FOR 25 LONG YEARS? I do admit that 25 is not a record or anything but from the way I see it, it’s indeed a record considering how different my mom and dad are from each other.
Ma has always been a fighter. She wouldn't give up easily and was not an emotional fool, so to say. Being educated from Manipal, like most of the girls at her time, she too wanted to be a nurse but she ended up a teacher. She kept injecting her pedagogy-moral values in us which make my brother and me the kind of person we are today. On the contrary, my dad was a softie with a very generous heart and a deeper pocket. He has always been a good human being and whole of Chembur can vouch for that! But I would say, out of these two enigmatic characters, Amma was the one who made their marriage work, all because of her adaptability to situations. Dad just floated along with the mundane wave and made sure we never fell out of basic comfort.
I like joking that my parents were happy for a long time…..and then they got married to each other. But at the back of my mind I see how happy they are together today, with all of us under one roof. He still calls her "Ponno" which is Tulu for "Girl" and that sounds beautiful during their never-ending arguments. Every morning, they go out together for walk and come back debating on trivial topics but there’s an undeniable cuteness to it. I hate idiotic TV soaps but my parents are a huge fan and that doesn't help my case either! They realize the fact they are not young anymore and they need each other more than ever.
As for me, of course, they don’t like my apathy towards “filial responsibilities” nor do they like my being more sincere on virtual world than in real, but they ADJUST and that’s been the key to their quarter century marriage run!
P.S. By the way, we celebrated their anniversary by visiting holy places like Siddi Vinayak Temple, Mahalakshmi Temple and Haji Ali. I didn’t trudge along this time. In fact, I participated and enjoyed too, in spite of my disdain for religious corners. We, along with my brother, had lunch and dinner together which is a rarity considering the clash of timing on usual days. It was a real celebration.