Thursday, January 8, 2009

Why are we sad?

Every morning i wake up, i realize my face getting old every single time. May be, I'm dreaming even after splashing water on face. I always felt a bit more odd being in crowd but now-a-days its odder staring at my own self. Either I'm moving myself towards something they call crisis or may be, I'm just meant to be this stupid. Failure doesn't make you a loser. Failure teaches you, enriches you and makes you more competent. I have not failed. That has solely to do with the fact that i haven't tried much in my recent life either.

Leaving engineering was the single biggest thing i did and i'm not much proud of it or ashamed coz i believe that we are cut out for certain purposes and if we don't oblige by that call of duty then we are doomed to remorse all through. I know that writing and teaching is my passion and i'll have to give it a head start from the grass root approach. Wasting a good seven years of your life in pursuit of engineering glory and then suddenly waking up someday to acknowledge this propensity, this strong urge of not doing something that i was so used to. Attending classes but getting lost in reverie of untold and unbounded adventure, free life and lores of hedonistic vindication.

Right now, i have the whole world in front of me and all i have to do is embrace it and get along. this is one option. The other one is to stay coherent to my grammar of understanding and illogical rationality that has encapsulated me for a very long time and designs to do so for upcoming life. Living is not existing and if i decide whether i want to go ahead with this literature and cinema thing and try something out for myself in this huge void of anonymity.

My dysfunctional family got a wrong boost with my failure in asserting my stand on my chosen career and of course, laziness too. They could have been kinder had i been a bit more sincere and adequate with common sense. Whatever be the consequences, we all learn, we err, we fall and fail and win and hail.... we all survive.

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