Every once in a while, you ask yourself irritating questions like “Why do my life suck?” and “Where did I go wrong?” and to add injury to insult, you are answerless. The irritation grows on you and you are numb. By the way, all the aforementioned happens mostly on Sunday night, once the weekend is over and the reality called Monday starts to kick in. Don’t know about others but in my case, its cent percent true.
All through the weekdays, we slog. The minuscule few among us will dare to commit blasphemy by admitting lines like “I love my job”. Well, they’ve got good karma to lean their back on. The majority of us with our overburdening baggage of bad thoughts, bad words and bad deeds are meant to do what we do best – sulk.
I often ask myself the second question, “Where did I go wrong?” because there is no pointing asking the first question. Frankly speaking, I have no idea. As a kid, I was lost in the cartoon world and my hero was none other than Mowgli. I wanted to be like him. The funny thing is I still do. I’ve never been a people’s person. I just hate being in a crowd. I guess I think a lot and do lot less. Maybe it has something to do with Mowgli. He grew up with wild animals around him. He did what no one in the history of humankind did, at least not in Indian jungle: he talked to animals. I mean, like he knew animalian language. That was something I wanted to do. Being a human, you can climb Mt. Everest or dribble like Ronaldinho or serve like Federer or goof-up like Kalmadi but you can’t talk to animals, like really “speak” to them. Forget it. I know Mowgli sounds far-stretched but you get the point.
Well, the thing is, we gradually grow up with societal conditioning that comes free of cost but very taxing in the long run. We stop being original. People around us want us to look up to someone for inspiration. No one tells you to look at yourself, to find the real YOU. Apparently, the elders play safe. Having seen the hardship of life, they want their kids to grow up safe and sound (no matter how deafening the reality is!).
Just imagine how the world could have been had no one of us abandoned our childhood dreams behind. People often give up their dreams and then call themselves ‘practical’. Nothing wrong with being practical but practical zombie is what we become. Life becomes mundane. Everything becomes scheduled. Routine takes over.
My dad left his village and escaped to Bombay in ’60 (the very year modern B’bay took birth) at the age of 13 but he wasn’t chasing dreams. He was just tired of being punished in school for he knew he wasn’t up for education. Compared to me with my so-called education, his life has been something. Something to cherish for in days to come, with tales of endurance and endeavor in almost every step he took since. If only we are courageous, as we once used to be. Or maybe not.
I’ve got nothing against education. People high on adrenaline may say education makes us feeble and coward but I don’t think so. On the contrary, I believe education makes us accountable for our actions, or the lack of it. But somewhere down the line, our education is falling short, way too short of its potential.
People around us are fading away and we see it happening every single day but we don’t stop and stare lest someone does the same to us. We are in a hurry to make money and whatnot. It’s like being a race where no one is a winner but someone or the other is a foolproof loser.
Novelty entails boredom and the cycle carries on till it crashes. I’m waiting for this materialistic bubble to burst and make such a loud noise that it can shudder us out of our slumber. I'll be in Ladakh or maybe Tamang by then. Hopefully.
As of now, I’ll be slogging too. Hello Monday, nice to meet you again.