I can’t sleep with my eyes open. Or should I say I cannot concentrate on sleeping!
Sleep is overestimated. It is a luxury. It doesn’t occur to everyone alike. Some get it. Some just dream about it with their unclosed sight. This has been my case since the end of school. Some like to call it insomnia or whatever but I prefer to call it life. I’ve never been a great sleeper, no pun intended whatsoever. Even during my hostel days, I used to defy the call of laziness and was a morning shiner. Oversleeping was never my forte, unlike my room partners who didn’t remember the date they went to sleep. Sometimes I wonder how lucky deaf people are, for they can sleep the tightest compared to those with discerning pair of ears!
There is nothing wrong with being an insomniac. It doesn’t kill you. Instantly, I mean. It kills you eventually like all other things, be it good or bad. But you can speed up the death part by worrying a lot about it. I say, worrying because now-a-days people have started confusing thinking with worrying. Worrying is not thinking. Simple as that!
Insomnia is a spell. You may grab 4 hours sleep one day and just two the other. There is nothing fixed. No patterns. Nothing works. Only you do and your weary imagination does. The longest I’ve gone awake or should I call it “the enlightened phase” is 43 hours. Now I don’t like talking about it as its nothing to be proud of but whenever folks ask me what I did during that phase, I reply “I watched movies after movies after movies and wrote some of my dearest poems…”
“Dark night sang her lullaby to my sweet ears but deaf was I to hear them without keeping my eyes open.”
Even right now, I’m awake. What more can I say!