Friday, May 27, 2011

Lost in the labyrinth of tweets!

As of now, Twitter is a religion. At least for the tweeps. For the uninitiated, tweeps are the ones who gave up on ‘real’ life and signed up for Twitter instead. It’s almost similar to the selling-your-soul-to-the-devil-at-a-discounted-price thing. Of course, we shouldn’t generalize the entire crowd on the basis of the majority. Yes, there are some exceptions who sign up and then forget their passwords, and in the process, save themselves from getting 140-ed.
For us, Twitter is more than just an addiction. It’s part of a lifestyle. Moreover, it won’t be an exaggeration to state there are 3 types of people on Twitter: those who never want to leave; those who are always here; and the rest.
You wake up and find yourself on the timeline. You are just dying to make an impression. You can crack a joke, post an url link or twitpic. And the best part is even that won’t make you an attention whore. One fish never accuses another fish of being wet. Everyone is in. Yes, some get luckier than others but it doesn’t matter. Everybody’s part of the stage and there is enough space for more. This urge to be heard via tweets is beyond typos. Sometimes, it’s beyond grammar, too. Unfortunately.
Like Tyler Durden once nearly said, “This is twittermania and it's ending one tweet at a time.”
Different people are on Twitter for different reasons. Majority are of the social kind. They don’t mind transforming the timeline back to the heydays of Yahoo! chatroom. Minuscule few are dedicated to mentionless tweeting. But one factor binds all the tweeps – their unconstrained disdain for Orkut and in some cases, Facebook. Anyway, it’s a bit hypocritical on our part to find our common alma mater at fault when it’s clearly not. Whatever goes.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #1 - If you've got absolutely nothing to tweet, tweet.
So what do we tweet about? Well, we mostly tweet shit. No, seriously. We do. You know, stuff that don’t have an iota of significance, not even to the one who’s tweeting. In less harsher words, Twitter is an adult toy. We experience parallel universe, so to speak. After all, there is nothing wrong with it. Here, you become your handle. You don’t even need a topic to tweet. Just look around you. You see things. You tweet things. Simple. No hard and fast rules. No wonder we seem to get more news on Twitter than there is news in this world. Accordingly, we become a dreamer or an activist or a revolutionary. For a day or two or three or four. In a way, we successfully kill time. Sometimes we even kill celebrities. Remember the time when Twitter killed Nelson Mandela, Shashi Kapoor and Abida Parveen when they were pretty much alive? Good.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #2 - Don't keep your crap to yourself. Your timeline is dying to *no*.
Twitter loves sad people and vice versa. Complaining about everything under the sky is a daily phenomenon. Nevertheless, you just find an excuse to tweet. For the record, you are a confirmed twitter-addict when you lose something in your house and search for it on your timeline. The point is you can be sad, cribby and lonely on Twitter. Facebook is not a place to cry your heart out. And even if you do, people will *like* that. Twitter allows you to be depressed. That’s one of the reasons why some of the most painfully honest gems (read: tweets) about sorry life could be seen post-midnight. It’s also when Twitter feels like a city annexed by hopeless romantics.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #3 - Feel busier than you really are.
Twitter is dominated by social engineers who are busy wasting their precious talent on timeline. They’ve got all the solutions to all the problems to all the solutions in the world. Plus, there are some really creative people who are busy entertaining others. And there are the ones who feel bad for the world while staying comfy in their air-conditioned rooms. In short, Twitter is longer than 140 characters. Lots of characters, in fact. Some are trolls, some fanatics, some politicos, some so-called orkutiyas. But then, different people are on Twitter for different reasons.

N.B. I wrote this piece for Ashik Gosaliya's website so thought of sharing here, too.

18 comments:

chitra said...

gud peice,its like speaking all tweeters heart at a place :)

Shakti_Shetty said...

:) ...and I thought I was speaking for myself! :D

Thanks!

Mayank said...

"Plus, there are some really creative people who are busy entertaining others"..

some serious talent getting wasted i think ... wouldnt going beyond 140 make more sense more often.

I wish you write - not twit more often.

pooja_hp said...

hey, really good one.
And loved your many other posts...

(when i started reading, was looking fwd to elaborations of more unwritten rules, the ones u tweeted abt :P

P.S. - of late, i 'follow' you and your 140's are something which make that timeline even more interesting :) )

\m/

Shakti_Shetty said...

@Mayank Touché! :)

@Pooja Thanks but i'm glad i stopped at #3 here... the other "unwritten rules" better stay on the timeline!! :D

ladynimue said...

Oh yes ! you summed it all too well !! :)

Fun !!

Do write more often :) you are fabulous with words !

Unmesh Ghadi said...

wow that was awesome..I read twice :)

i liked "You are just dying to make an impression. You can crack a joke, post an url link or twitpic. And the best part is even that won’t make you an attention whore. One fish never accuses another fish of being wet. Everyone is in."
the most

and "Twitter loves sad people and vice versa."

and "Facebook is not a place to cry your heart out. And even if you do, people will *like* that."

and "They’ve got all the solutions to all the problems to all the solutions in the world."
lollollol :D sahi

gr8 work dude.
keep inspiring me :-)

Shakti_Shetty said...

@Nimue Sure. :)

@Unmesh Thanks for pointing out. :)

Anonymous said...

RT i'm glad i stopped at #3 here... the other "unwritten rules" better stay on. .. & I thought... When you knw wot I mean ; )

It’s almost similar to the "selling-your-soul-to-the-devil-at-a-discounted-price" &
requesting the Devil (Time) for more Time; for wot.? Tweet ! ? ! :D

Its like, getting fingerscuff (handcuff) by our own self with 'TikTik' keyboard 24/7

Even the Great Grandsons of Sir. Charles Darwin will exclaim, "From where did this Evolve ? :))

NuLight!!

Shakti_Shetty said...

@Mani Thanks for your "outlawish" comments. Preciate it! :D

Anonymous said...

Writer, in twitter you can express anything , even out of this world thoughts and doesn't asked much or our not so precious time! Nice read blogger!

you got always my not so precious time.

Shakti_Shetty said...

Yup. Thanks for your not-so-precious time. As always. :)

Parmesh Rudra Joshi said...

I guess you are talking about something !

Shakti_Shetty said...

Rudraaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahha!

FAROOQ said...

"Minuscule few are dedicated to mentionless tweeting" . very few indeed :P

Shakti_Shetty said...

;))

Raj said...

Amazing read Shakthi :)

Shakti_Shetty said...

Thanks Raj!