Blah blah bullshit

I come up with unwritten rules for Twitter. Got close to 200 now but they don't mean anything. Simply put, they are crappy statements based on observations but largely meant to be funny. Besides, who am i to set rules and that too unwritten (but actually written) for others to follow? The Internet and more peculiarly, Social Media, is supposed to represent freedom. And by that, i mean everybody should be allowed to express themselves (or not) the way they prefer. It's OK to pass judgements, just like it's OK to ignore judgements. It's a matter of choice. However, i've noticed a growing legion of the so-called social media "experts" who believe they can choose for the rest of us. They attend fancy conferences and bloggers' meet and pen books. According to them, we must behave in a certain manner when we are online. They set out rules in their articles and blog posts shepherding others to toe in. The word they binge on is engagement. Apparently if we are online, we should be chatting the shit out of each other. Otherwise, it's not worth it, they say. Going by the amount of rubbish that's out there on the Web all thanks to "engaging folks", i'd pass the offer. I wrote a post four years ago and then again last year on why the concept of online engagement is banal for the most part. Of course, i was defending my right to silence (read: laziness) there. Even today, nothing has changed for me. I don't care what others tweet. I don't give a damn whether people lick their mentions as long as they don't expect me to do the same. I choose to ignore mine because i don't believe in public discourse. A conversation is meant to take place between individuals in private. It's not a circus to be enjoyed by voyeuristic strangers. The same fundamentals apply to a discussion too. The problem with online world is too many people gatecrash a conversation, thus changing it into an unchartered discussion, which ultimately morphs into a circus. I like to think of the timeline as an overcrowded elevator where you're doing alright provided you're thinking to yourself. The moment you strike a conversation with your neighbour, you're basically hijacking the peace. Which again is fine to some extent but expecting everyone to chime in would be too much to ask for. Moreover, if everybody's going to talk, who's going to listen?

An inadequate trial

Plagiarism is a curse on those whose work is stolen. But it's a bigger curse on those who are accused of stealing when they haven't. Especially when the topic is circumnavigating verbal ideas. Mind you, just words. Nothing has been created out of them. They are just thoughts, per se. How can one be so sure that a thought should never repeat? What exactly is an original idea? Simply because somebody thought of something before you did makes that thought patented to that person? What if somebody else had thought of it before that person did? At least that's what the fight is all about on a platform like Twitter where people wage day-long war against those who they call tweetchor. Most of these disputes revolve around jokes (yes, that's the biggest joke!). 

First thing first, it's ethically wrong to lift somebody else's ideas and pass it off as your own. It is not only a disgrace but also silly to do so in the digital age where every little thing is on record. But here's the catch: Who's going to decide who is wrong? Also, can't two people have similar thoughts? When Darwin and Wallace could have resembling theories despite working at opposite ends of the world, who are we? When Marconi and Bose could come up similar wireless magics without ever knowing each other, who are we (again)? The point being coincidental ideas happen all the time. Just that we notice them in exceptions. When people are live-tweeting on an ongoing event, timeline is filled with similar sounding tweets. Nobody is copying nobody there. It's an exhibition of how mind reacts to a given situation. But this logic is not accepted on Twitter because people love pulling others down. The self-appointed vigilante would make their case by picking someone's recent tweet and juxtapose it with random old tweets by other people. The idea here is to prove that the recent tweet is a clear case of plagiarism. Well, it could be. There's no denying but at the same time, there are greater questions to be addressed. 

What if it isn't a case of plagiarism? If so, aren't you doing a great deal of disservice to a honest person by flogging him in public? What if it is just a random thought which has no relation whatsoever to the earlier tweets? Do you give others the benefit of doubt that you so aggressively present yourself with? Do you put all your tweets under the same supervision mode that you put others? Is every single post of yours ever made so authentic that it has never been said before in the history of mankind? The greatest question being, who made you the judge? At the end of the day, it's just a bunch of words strewn together to made a sentence. That's what it is. Words. Borrowed by us from time to time. We didn't invent them. Poets did. Poets we don't give a shit about anymore. And we are talking about giving credit! 

All things said and nothing done, to each his own. Personally, i'm perfectly alright with people lifting my tweets. They do that all the time on FB and Whatsapp anyway. One guy even had the audacity to mail me to inform that he has been "referring" to my blog posts to keep his blog alive. He was doing much more than referring. I choose to ignore because i don't have the energy or patience to fight a worthless battle. Forget words, i've come across Instagram accounts where i've seen pictures clicked by me. Since i have no fear of bagging the Nobel or Pulitzer anytime soon, i take it as a compliment. 

Online or offline, one's conscience should be unblemished no matter what. I remember when i joined Twitter, i used to not only send "Hello there!" to the likes of Obama but also blatantly lift Internet lines for my tweets. Fortunately, i came to my sense soon (2010) and decided to stick to my lame stuff. Interestingly enough, that's also when my following spiked! People actually admire honest lame stuff. Yes, they do!

I posted this recently as a rebuttal to those who claim that my tweets blindly cross 1K. They don't. 20-30 is my average thanks to the negative publicity that rampantly goes on due to my self-imposed silence.

But something very intriguing happened immediately. An old tweet of mine suddenly crossed 1K, becoming my first tweet ever to do so. 

And this tweet is plagiarized on a daily basis. It's tweeted every single day without fail with no credit showered whatsoever. No joke, this has been happening for months now. So, who is to be blamed here? This is why i believe that plagiarism is a conscious act with subconscious repercussions. There's no point in creating a ruckus. If a person steals, he'll acknowledge his unjust act someday or the other. But if a person is accused of stealing something he hasn't, then that realization becomes the vigilante's burden. Hence it's better to maintain silence and overlook acts of verbal transgression. Attention is the biggest commodity nowadays and if you are giving it to conducting a trial where your expertise is limited to Twitter search bar, then you are basically fooling yourself. There is a world beyond Twitter. And more importantly, there is a world beyond the English language. Not all thoughts are thought only in English. Do you cross-check in every single language out there? 

Dharmsancutandpaste

I recently came across a well-written blog post about how it's not ethically right to plagiarize tweets. I agree for the most part that we shouldn't lift creative materials blindly without bothering to give credit where it's due. It's a terrible way of getting by. Getting inspired is one thing and stealing, quite another. However, one should avoid this malpractice for two major reasons:

1. You wouldn't want THAT to happen to you (at least in the online world).

2. You don't really want to be seen as a prick (at least in the offline world). 

Having said that, i still feel that tweets don't fall under the category of art. Tweeps aren't artists by any yardstick. Who coins words anymore? Twitteratis may claim expertise in wordplay and instant humour, it'd be preposterous to put them in the same category as someone who dedicates oneself to a particular stream of creativity. Tweeps are way too random and spontaneous in comparison. And that's how they are supposed to be! See something and post something about it in not more than 140 characters. Minute in and minute out.

But plagiarism is a touchy as well as a vague topic and sometimes, we have the following order of situations: 

a. You post a tweet and somebody points out that it was already tweeted earlier, specifically suggesting that you must have copied it. 

b. You don't know how to respond to it because it seems like you have copied a joke (of all things!) when you don't even remember reading it earlier. To you, your tweet dropped straight out of your head. 

c. Interestingly, the person claiming that you plagiarized has fewer followers than you and is crying foul how twelebs (twitter celebs, whatever that mean or entail) rob the non-twelebs (although they can't wait to turn into twelebs) of fame and prosperity that timeline was originally designed for. 

d. On one hand, the person is claiming that his tweet doesn't get the exposure it SO deserves and on another, he also points out that somebody more exposed than him has stolen his line. 

e. Now, the question is "How the fuck is that even possible?" when the claimant is basically contradicting himself. 

This is why i feel the whole practice of screaming "Yeh pehle ho chuka hai"—whenever a tweet reminds someone on Twitter of something they'd already read before—redundant. Does it really matter? I don't know about you but my tweets mattered to me a lot about 4-5 years ago. Not anymore. I don't give a click who copies my lame one-liners. In fact, i feel good to know at least somebody cares enough to steal my unhealthy body of words (which i didn't even invent in the first place). Aren't we all borrowers of words? 

Anyway, that's me.

To each his own, as they so like to preach. But then, what's the point of quarreling over a sentence or two when there is so much more going on? As we tweet, books are being written. Not to forget pieces on how it's easier and worthier to plagiarize a blog post than a stupid tweet. 

Figure this!

There are more than seven billion human beings on this ever-evolving planet. Out of which, about 40% are Internet users. That translates to 2.8 billion people who have unlimited access to food and water...err..Internet. However, in India, online penetration is as low as 13%. Which means, less than 160 million Indians can afford to spend their time browsing. There are around 1.23 billion humans in India and for every Internet user in the country, there are five in China. A lot of these users are very active on social media. Now, if you break down the global population into Twitter consumption alone, there are more than 500 million active tweeps who are either learning or know how to limit their thoughts to 140 characters or less. 20 million (or so) of them are from India. A majority belongs to the metropolitan areas followed by Tier-2 cities. This section is basically fluent in English and takes as much pride in their selfies as their grammatical errors. It's a commune with no boundaries. And in the grand scheme of things (and ballpark estimations), even if your tweet manages to earn 500 RTs from them, it means nothing in comparison to the aforementioned figures. Regardless of your followers count, your life still sucks.

Twitter's 96 Unwritten Rules

I've been on Twitter for more than four years now. My DP is as old as my twi-life. That's not a long time but it's long enough to let you know that you're basically a lazy narcissist who doesn't give a damn about social etiquette (read: vain conversations). Anyway, over the years, i've written some unwritten rules every now and then. Ironically enough. I don't follow them nor do i expect others to. About two years ago, i did a small study on the first three rules but as time passed by, i grew wiser and gave up. However, it's interesting to see how trends change and we try to make our virtual world as interesting as it can get while our real one begs upgradation. Below you'll find 96 such rules which are best left unread. [In case you're wondering why 96 and not 99 or 100, that's because it's 96 and not 99 or 100.]

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #1: When you don't have anything to say, say. 

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #2: Don't keep your crap to yourself. Your timeline is dying to *no*. 

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #3: Feel busier than you really are.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #4: In case you run out of rubbish to share, twitpic.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #5: Type whatever you want to say. No one's paying attention anyway. 

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #6: Don't shelve your worthless one-bit thoughts. Tweet.

Twitter's unwritten Rule #7: Remind us who we were lest we forget.

Twitter’s Unwritten Rule #8: Stay illusioned. After all, you are a tweep.

Twitter’s Unwritten Rule #9: Typos shall love you more than you hate them.

Twitter’s Unwritten Rule #10: Learn a lot about tweeps by meeting them. But a lot more by not ACTUALLY meeting them.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #11: However unbearable the bullshit, whatever be the consequences, remember just one thing—it's OK.  

Twitter’s Unwritten Rule #12: Apologize as soon as you realize that you’re making sense. 
Twitter’s Unwritten Rule #13: Twitter ain't for spreading hatred. It's for making us feel better about our sorry life. 
Twitter’s Unwritten Rule #14: Karma will unleash typos to wreck your poor jokes.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #15: Every second person on the timeline is an amateur photographer.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #16: Be. See. Flee.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #17: You don't need fodder for news. The news is you.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #18: Follow interesting tweets, not tweeps.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #19: If you're paying close attention to my crap, then yes, we are friends forever. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #20: Don't approve of whatever you tweet before and after lunch.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #21: Twitter shall make you feel busier than you really are.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #22: If someone unfollows you, be glad. At least someone took your crap seriously.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #23: You're an addict when you misplace something and look all over the timeline for it.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #24: A thought ain't aware what fucking downhill is all about until it turns into a lousy tweet.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #25: Referring to oneself in the third person = Referring to oneself in the first person 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #26: Anything that begins with 'Dear...' is going to end with a not-so-endearing comment.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #27: Log in just like you piss i.e. whenever you ought to.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #28: Judge other tweeps but keep your judgements to yourself.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #29: Stay emotionally damaged but be physically available on the timeline.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #30: Go conquer the world. Meanwhile, let the timeline know how much your life sucks.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #31: Wisecracks aren't signs of wisdom as they are peculiar signs of, well, horrible wisecracks. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #32: If reading others' merry tweets makes you happy, your innocence deserves much more happiness than that.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #33: Be as interesting as your retweets.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #34: No matter how many times one rewrites a bad joke, it remains just another bad joke.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #35: Spending too much time on the timeline is not only unhealthy but also unhealthy.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #36: Whatever.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #37: Anything on the timeline that begins with "Sometimes..." should be neglected. Any given time.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #38: You're more than just disoriented when instead of committing a typo, you miss the entire freaking word.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #39: It's impossible to forget a good tweet even if you can't recollect the tweep who posted it.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #40: We shall never run out of hypocritical nonsense.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #41: Timeline is a conversation bait at its worst.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #42: If you are here to prove something, you're demolishing the sole purpose.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #43: Trolls may not like you but they're the ones who genuinely pay heed to your virtual existence.  

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #44: If your tweets are irritating a particular set of crowd, you must be doing something right.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #45: Never ask tweeps whether they're employed or what they do for a living.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #46: Be your fake self.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #47: For every earthquaky action, there is an exaggerated timeline reaction.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #48: Every little thing takes place for the sake of a tweet.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #49: Thou shalt commit silly typos. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #50: Whenever you commit a typo, they'll laugh...and then wait for you to correct it.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #51: More or less, all opinions expressed on the timeline are of negligible value.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #52: Everybody on the timeline sound like each other i.e. somebody they are not.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #53: A majority of the folks here are sex joke offenders.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #54: All tweeps are contemporary writers.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #55: Together we can and we will make a grievance.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #56: The hashtag #OKIamgoing always sounds funnier than whatever precedes it. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #57: We won't leave Twitter abusing the lame old excuse saying THAT would make us quitters.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #58: Sentimental tweets and timeline are made for each other.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #59: Tweeps can't afford to be poor.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #60: Everybody is entitled to everybody's opinion.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #61: If you've got absolutely no idea what you're doing on the timeline, you're acing it.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #62: Each one of us have a unique image here. It's called DP. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #63: To each his pwn.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #64: If you're plagiarizing a tweet, make sure you end it with #rerun. You might at least get the benefit of doubt. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #65: We are only as insomniac as our timeline.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #66: Quit pretending that you're the last savior of Queen's English. It doesn't owe you anything and vice versa.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #67: The honestest compliment one can ever get here is a o_O. 

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #68: The logout button is the only thing worth taking seriously here. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #69: The timeline will ALWAYS appear happier than you.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #70: Tweeps never lose an opportunity to add RIP before famous names. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #71: If you fail to laugh at your timeline, you're an idiot.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #72: Avoid meeting fellow-tweeps. They seem better in their tweets.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #73: Impressing your old followers is always going to be one heck of a task. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #74: Keeping up with the tradition, Twitter's Unwritten Rule #75 is going to suck even more.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #75: Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahaan nahi milta; kahi retweet toh kahi star nahi milta.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #76: For a majority of us, tweeting is the closest we'll ever get to social service.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #77: As long as you can tip, it doesn't matter whether you are a pro or not.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #78: Your tweets are supposed to be good enough only for YOU and no one else. 
 Twitter's Unwritten Rule #79: Almost every second thing that happens is twitpic-worthy.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #80: If you haven't been abused by random tweeps yet, you are doing EVERYTHING wrong.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #81: You've arrived for real when somebody gets your tweet tattooed on their ass.
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #82: If you can't tweet well, diss well.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #83: For every action, there's an equal and opposite hashtag reaction.
 Twitter's Unwritten Rule #84: Be the outrage you want to see in the world.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #85: Time is divided into BO (Before Outrage) and AO (After Outrage) 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #86: We never grow tired of entertaining each other for free. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #87: Be appreciative of the crap you read here because time and energy has been spent on it.  
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #88: Bring thinking back. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #89: If you can't say it here, those words shall most probably die with you. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #90: Think twice before posting one-liners. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #91: We're never going to be as awesome as our tweets. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #92: It's not a twi-fight if it doesn't involve blood.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #93: Don't generalize. 
Twitter's Unwritten Rule #94: Never act as if you've got a life by saying stuff like "I've got a life".

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #95: There was a lousy comedian in you that needed internet to come out.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #96: We tweet best when we've got absolutely nothing to tweet.
 

Borderline friendship

If she keeps on burning any longer, she won't survive. This line often rings in my head whenever i think of Pakistan. Every country deserves better. More so when i come across news headlines with some place in that Allahforsaken country having a blast. Of the horrible sort. When such discouraging buzz is doing the round, my memory runs through the gems listed below. Each one of them have a face and a story; some short, some longer. Depending on the kind of interaction i've had with them in the virtual world over the past few years. For the record, the only Pakistani i've ever met in person is Ali Zafar. Yes, the actor-singer. The people i've mentioned below are those whom i haven't had the good fortune to meet. Yet.     

Sahil. Furhan. Mehvish. Shiraz. Marvi. Umer. Osama. Akram. Anika. Fizza. Sana. Asma. Sohail. Aadil. Zeeshan. Nazia. Ahmed. Waji. Khawarbhai. Hasan. Kiran. Nada. Zyenab. Rabab. Hira. Burhan. Danish. Aneek. Hafsa. Haroon. Khaver. SMQ. Farhan. Obaid. Heena. Joanna. Rai. Kursed. Haider. Naukhaiz. Niza. Sara. Laeeq. MQazi. Rumaisa. Waqas. Zohaib. Muhammad. Heeri. Samaira. Maliha.

Though i'm not very good with names and i'm sure i must have missed some in haste, these are the ones who instantly clicked. They taught me something or the other about myself by expressing their views. Most of them belong to the ever-affable blogosphere (besides Twitterverse) and i share a good rapport—if not deep friendship—with each one of them. Someday, not very far away from where we are today, i'll be crossing the border to have a chat. Until that happens, i hope they are fine and separated from danger. Of any sort. Situations are so grim right now that when i ask a friend from across the border to take care—unlike with others—i specifically mean it.

The right to remain silent

I don't converse much for two reasons.
1. I'm not good at it. 
2. I don't want to be good at it.

Much against this distressing dilemma, i often get asked on Twitter why i don't reply to mentions. Keeping up with their expectations, i don't answer that question. Besides, i commit enough typos while typing my lame tweets that i’d rather not wish to increase my errata count. Or maybe i'm one of those who let others have the last word by not replying in the first place. And if at all i were to say something that could come close to explaining my stubbornness, i'd preferably not say it. I’m not accountable for my tweets. They are Grade A rubbish in any case. Similarly, it's a choice to stay away from timeline conversations. Not that i find these wit-induced gabs boring but then i don't find them overwhelmingly enticing either. Some talks make you giggle whereas some make you cringe. Both are OK as long as nobody is pointing a missile at your crotch and forcing you to read. For the record, i'm yet to witness an insightful chat taking place between two tweeps. People arrive with certain mindsets and log out with the same. Absolutely nothing changes. And they repeat the procedure tomorrow as well. This isn't my theory because we know this for certain. A majority of us converse on social media for the sole sake of marking our attendance in the virtual world. Practically speaking, we haven’t graduated much from Orkut even though we won’t admit it. Of course, there's nothing wrong with it as this attitude pretty much serves the whole purpose of garnering attention—not to forget, validation—we otherwise lack in our real world. But the ultimate gospel states that tweeps are merely killing time.
       However, coming back to my self-imposed silence, i used to be part of this circus till circa 2010 before i stopped participating in the celebrated verbal-diarrhea-fest. Just like that. Of course, i pay for my heresy by getting constantly bombarded for being a mute. I also lost the followership of some brilliant tweeps who thought i was an outcast now. After all, people from media can't afford to be isolated but I'm doing fine. I'm neither a huge fan of letting others know what kind of shitty tabloid articles i write for a living nor a huge critic of digital networking so my chosen technique works for me. Anyway, i don't know what I'm doing but i fortunately know what I'm not. I don't respond while i continue to listen to the never-to-be-addressed grievances. So those who think I'm not a good listener, you're mistaken. Despite hectic schedule (yeah, there are folks out there with high-demand-low-paying jobs), i check my mentions every now and then. Got to admit that very few tweets make me laugh harder. In my defense, at least i don't discriminate when it comes to replying mentions. Unlike most of the tweeps who bother to talk to only those whose intellect and follower count matter. To me, all are equally important as well as unimportant. No wonder i haven’t blocked even the worst of trolls yet. Moreover, my responding to their mentions won't change a thing. We were and we shall remain miserable, no matter what. Lastly, to answer your question why i don't use my reply button: Well, because i can.

Caught in the heist

Sometimes, you look up to someone as your role model and then they goof up. That's what happened with Fareed Zakaria. As of now, the celebrated columnist has been given a clean chit on plagiarism charges and reinstated too. But he's not the first to steal something from someone and pass it off as his own. Nearly everybody does that. Like we show off an iPad as if we invented it. And if my memory serves me right, Prometheus stole the fire and put it up on eBay for sale—thus angering both Olympus and that hapless Stone Age guy who rubbed flintstones. Talking of anger, Rajat Gupta must be feeling deeply sorry for himself as he didn't even rob a dollar. The lecturer in him was just sharing knowledge. Oops, bad luck. The greater trouble, however, is that overachieving folks like him had already reached the pinnacle of their field. And what they don't realize is that they are harming those they once inspired. I don't know much about insider trading but i see how plagiarism works. After all, I'm pretty active on Twitter (not as much as I'd like to but still). On the timeline, the day someone starts plagiarizing your lousy tweets is the day you actually arrive. On the contrary, nobody needs to arrive on Facebook. The reason being very simple: Famous-quotes beget one-liners beget copy-paste. Personally, i don't give a damn about credit as long as I'm getting paid for my lame tweets and blogs (which I'm not). At the end of the day, we'll be forgotten like the rest of them. Only our work will be remembered and if we are lucky enough, shall get plagiarized too.

"You plagiarist, you stole my f—ing quote!" - what one Anonymous said to another

Mumbai

City. Diversity. Crowded. Migrants. Music. Local. Fear. Traffucked. Corrupt. Malls. Dust. Cricket. Office. Netas. Bollywood. Slums. Monsoon. Pigeons. Wonderful. Gully. Sweat. Honk. Parsis. Vadapav. Education. 26/11. Piss. Accidents. Kaapi. Welcoming. Pandu. Udupi. Death. Hatred. SoBo. Pickpockets. Heat. Filth. Smells. Tweetups. Sachin. Trains. BPO. Potholes. Dilapidation. Tourists. Multilingual. Blood. Superpoor. Dabbawallahs. Bandstand. Chaos. Fashion. Comedy. Midday. Goons. Sun. Radio. Crows. Prithvi. Eunuchs. Obesity. Reclamation. Teachers. Unwonderful. Love. Hawkers. Tolerance. Skyscrapers. Mysterious. BEST. Superrich. 26/7. Shit. Commoners. Time. Wordless. Nourishing. Queues. Chai. Hoardings. Friends. Smog. Gulzar. Noisy. Trepidation. Worst. Mongrels. Rave. Undersated. Overrated. Chinese. Network. Island. Kolis. Cuss. Festivals. Mangroves. Sparrows. Life. 

PS: A friend asked me to describe the city in 100 words. So 100 words it is. 

Restrain order

One month ago, I realized that I must quit pretending that I can write. Just like four years ago, I acknowledged the painful death of a murmuring poet in me. Of course, I am being dramatic since that didn't stop me from spewing horribly bad poems later. But this is another story altogether. Anyway, what I'm trying to emphasize here is the urgency to learn something and work on it. I discovered that I'm not attuned enough to take writing seriously. Which is why I'm not a published writer yet. Or better still, I don't post pieces on my blog regularly (if posting four articles a month is regular) like I once used to. It has indeed relieved me of a burden to impress myself considering the fact that I don't play to an empty gallery. Unlike on Twitter. There is an ample crowd of vellas there who bother to pay attention—not to mention react—to your crap. Speaking of which, I'm restraining myself from spending too much time on the timeline either. Fortunately, I'm successfully overcoming the urge to share pseudo-wisdom in less than 140 characters. Yes, there was an era when I used to post one-liner after one-liner on random topics. Sometimes even on topics that don't care to exist. Besides, penning mindless one-liners is way too easier than drafting lengthy sensible paragraphs! Having said that, I'm just 35 km away from attaining virtual nirvana. And I've got to tweet this thought that's jogging in my head after publishing this whatever y'all just read.

Idiot's Block, not Writer's

I haven’t written a paragraph in almost a month now. No, it can’t be Writer’s Block since I'm not a writer. It’s not much of my concern either. At least not as much as Idiot's Block is. And the worst part is, I'm not even growing wise. It's more confusing than the reason why we signed up for life. Besides, I’m just a one-liner thinker who scribbles and tries way too hard to be funny. In raunchier terms, I’m a writer’s version of one-night stand. Sitting down to write an essay or an article is a torture to be very honest. The kind of time and dedication it takes is sadistic but (sadly) rewarding at the very same time. On the contrary, when you produce an one-liner, there is nothing to lose. You have this idea and all you have to do is put it within a sentence or two and lo you are done! [In related news, I just completed a paragraph.]

Even right now, as I’m typing whatever you are reading, I’ve got no concrete plot to come up with. Like they lie, I’m just going with the flow. Sometimes it’s hard to accept that you are no Pamuk especially when you are writing Grade A bullshit. But somewhere, deep down inside, you have this untouched poetry. Each one of us does. No kidding. This is the part which often stays unexplored. There is a bit of poetry in every human being. Only the lucky few get to share it with others. But then, most of us are neurotically indolent so that kills the suspense. In other words, laziness always replays a huge part in our failures. One needs to get organized and then go ahead with the plan. Like writers do. With research related stuff which I’m totally averse to. (See, the last two lines rhyme!)

That’s it.

I’ve nothing else to babble about. Yes, I can crack some cheap jokes on Baba Ramdev’s antics and PM Singh’s eternal silence or take a dig at the way humankind has totally lost itself in the ring-a-round materialistic whirlpool. But the truth is I had to update my blog page and obviously, I don’t follow rich principles when it comes to photoshopping of thoughts in words. And that’s the reason my fingers are still dancing on the keyboard. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have even reached this third paragraph.

Every once in a while, I try to gauge how a human being can create such fat books full of ideas. No wonder one-lining seems a lot more appealing and of course, easier. Furthermore, there is never a lack of incidents to comment on be it a colleague’s goof-up or your own or snobbish celebrities or politicians or some sports rivals. However, the moment I get down to write a 500-words rough draft, my brain instantly files for divorce. Although there are million of secrets to be told and billions of stories to be sold, I’ll be totally out of topic. That’s how *thinks* are as of now. Perhaps I’m one of those writers who suffer from Writer’s Block even before becoming one.

Lost in the labyrinth of tweets!

As of now, Twitter is a religion. At least for the tweeps. For the uninitiated, tweeps are the ones who gave up on ‘real’ life and signed up for Twitter instead. It’s almost similar to the selling-your-soul-to-the-devil-at-a-discounted-price thing. Of course, we shouldn’t generalize the entire crowd on the basis of the majority. Yes, there are some exceptions who sign up and then forget their passwords, and in the process, save themselves from getting 140-ed.

For us, Twitter is more than just an addiction. It’s part of a lifestyle. Moreover, it won’t be an exaggeration to state there are 3 types of people on Twitter: those who never want to leave; those who are always here; and the rest.

You wake up and find yourself on the timeline. You are just dying to make an impression. You can crack a joke, post an url link or twitpic. And the best part is even that won’t make you an attention whore. One fish never accuses another fish of being wet. Everyone is in. Yes, some get luckier than others but it doesn’t matter. Everybody’s part of the stage and there is enough space for more. This urge to be heard via tweets is beyond typos. Sometimes, it’s beyond grammar, too. Unfortunately.

Like Tyler Durden once nearly said, “This is twittermania and it's ending one tweet at a time.”

Different people are on Twitter for different reasons. Majority are of the social kind. They don’t mind transforming the timeline back to the heydays of Yahoo! chatroom. Minuscule few are dedicated to mentionless tweeting. But one factor binds all the tweeps – their unconstrained disdain for Orkut and in some cases, Facebook. Anyway, it’s a bit hypocritical on our part to find our common alma mater at fault when it’s clearly not. Whatever goes.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #1 - If you've got absolutely nothing to tweet, tweet.

So what do we tweet about? Well, we mostly tweet shit. No, seriously. We do. You know, stuff that don’t have an iota of significance, not even to the one who’s tweeting. In less harsher words, Twitter is an adult toy. We experience parallel universe, so to speak. After all, there is nothing wrong with it. Here, you become your handle. You don’t even need a topic to tweet. Just look around you. You see things. You tweet things. Simple. No hard and fast rules. No wonder we seem to get more news on Twitter than there is news in this world. Accordingly, we become a dreamer or an activist or a revolutionary. For a day or two or three or four. In a way, we successfully kill time. Sometimes we even kill celebrities. Remember the time when Twitter killed Nelson Mandela, Shashi Kapoor and Abida Parveen when they were pretty much alive? Good.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #2 - Don't keep your crap to yourself. Your timeline is dying to *no*.

Twitter loves sad people and vice versa. Complaining about everything under the sky is a daily phenomenon. Nevertheless, you just find an excuse to tweet. For the record, you are a confirmed twitter-addict when you lose something in your house and search for it on your timeline. The point is you can be sad, cribby and lonely on Twitter. Facebook is not a place to cry your heart out. And even if you do, people will *like* that. Twitter allows you to be depressed. That’s one of the reasons why some of the most painfully honest gems (read: tweets) about sorry life could be seen post-midnight. It’s also when Twitter feels like a city annexed by hopeless romantics.

Twitter's Unwritten Rule #3 - Feel busier than you really are.

Twitter is dominated by social engineers who are busy wasting their precious talent on timeline. They’ve got all the solutions to all the problems to all the solutions in the world. Plus, there are some really creative people who are busy entertaining others. And there are the ones who feel bad for the world while staying comfy in their air-conditioned rooms. In short, Twitter is longer than 140 characters. Lots of characters, in fact. Some are trolls, some fanatics, some politicos, some so-called orkutiyas. But then, different people are on Twitter for different reasons.

N.B. I wrote this piece for Ashik Gosaliya's website so thought of sharing here, too.

Commoners Wed Society

Last week, third rock from the sun witnessed one heck of a royal wedding. Nearly two-sixth of humankind was glued to the live event which substantiates our hopeless belief in medieval fairytale. In related news, many were wondering whether it was Beckham's wedding for he sure as hell looked a whole lot nattier than balding William. Similarly Kate’s sister stole the limelight right under her Diana-esque charm. No big deal. It’s all part of regal folklores now.

Anyway, if you paid attention to the extravagance, the ultimate question hits you sooner or later (most probably, sooner): Who’s going to pay for all of this? Well, as usual, the monarch does everything except the payment. When Lakshmi Mittal spent $78 million for his daughter’s wedding, he actually could afford it. On the contrary, here, the bill's is shared by the taxpayers. Yes, common people like you and me and the aliens up in heaven. Some of the lessons of history are debited to future.

Personally, I don't attend weddings. I mean, what's the point when I can't stop it from happening? No, seriously. And if I at all, I do, out of familial pressure or emotional blackmailing, I feel rather sorry for the couples who have to plaster that fake smile throughout the procession. I even fail to understand the significance of this hackneyed marital ritual. If two people love each other, why waste precious time on something as insignificant as announcing it to the society that’s attending just for free food? And then there is the act of divine fraud when the couples exchange “I do” and then do it again and again. Of course, that’s a different story altogether.

By the way, isn’t it amazing that almost every human being, be it from any part of the world, acknowledges the institution of marriage? Perhaps it’s part of social devolution. Yes, people will retort that had my parents not married, I wouldn’t have been typing this drivel here. Nor would you be reading it. True that, in both cases. We are Indians, after all. Maybe that’s precisely what I’m trying to imply here. It’s time to free ourselves from unnecessary bondages of societal validation. It’s not about right or wrong. It’s about why it is so and why couldn’t it be not so. No, I ain’t advocating live-in although I don’t find anything amiss with it, either.

Going back to the royal marriage, media as well as the social media couldn’t help orgasming. They got royally high on a wedding they allegedly didn’t give a damn about. That’s the extent of our blatant hypocrisy when it comes to current affairs. On a lighter note, I’m glad Osama could witness this wedding before embarking on the long-awaited journey to meet 72 virgins. The only thing the $34 million wedding lacked was Indian flavor. You know Dhol, Band Bhaaja, Bharaat, irritating fat aunties and stuff. Okay, forget it. Chicken Tikka Masala is more than enough for Brits.

PS: We’ve got bigger problems than weddings – followed by divorces – so I guess this blog piece was a pure waste of time as always. May y’all have a royaler wedding! Amen.

Bloggers' Block

The trouble with maintaining a not-that-active blog is the need to write not-that-inactive post. And trust me, its far more difficult than it seems. Needless to say, much of the blame must squarely rest on procrastination. Also, you realize you are not the same person you used to be when it comes to writing subsequent paragraphs.

Apparently, you are not at all excited about your blog the way you were once upon a time. You used to post stupid poems, memorable anecdotes from your miserable life and how it could had been worse; strength of your blog’s ability to let you share your sorry-ness with poor bystanders who are gullible enough to read your pathetic state of affair; and then of course your “expert” views on everything from movies, sports to politics, and yes, also the belief that your blog is destroying this world one post at a time.

Not anymore.

These ideas wear off over time and apathy takes over. All of a sudden, you find yourself in a 140-character fix. Yes, I’m talking about Twitter. In the pre-Twitter era, you used to make notes on topics you wanted to blog on. But now, you are busy scribbling one-liners that sound funny enough to you, notwithstanding the fact that your followers are either sympathizing with your nonsense of humor or silently cursing you.

Of course, these are blatant excuses for not keeping up with your laziness. If only you were a bit organized and a little less tardy with blog-tweet balance, you wouldn’t have suffered the toil of typing this piece. There are always hundreds of ideas in your mind about what to write on but unlike before, you now don’t care to work on it. You are just too busy being tabulous and you are failing to explore your writing skills.

Anyways, these are my personal views about myself but I am mighty glad that I was able to write a new post. So job well done for me. Unfortunately, can’t say the same about you reading this crap. Better luck next time, if at all, it happens.

Blame it on Twitter!

I haven’t updated my blog for a long time now. More than one month to be precise. Anyways, I wasn’t too regular on my blog but this is the longest gap.

The truth is, I’ve been occupied by lot of extra-curricular activities viz. Twitter, Office and Home. I’ve placed Twitter ahead of the other two because I realize that I’ve been madly active on it, be it at work or at peace. I won’t say I regret it for I understand its one of the finest thing that ever happened to me. Its like asking a boy what you want to be and he says, “Heard” and lo! the boy gets a Twitter handle and shouts his mind out. That boy is me.

I’ve never been this expressive with words as long as my shy memory goes. I’ve always been a painful introvert. The people I grew up with aren’t around anymore. I’m not saying they all got exterminated in a secret nuclear action. I’m just saying that we hardly keep in touch and they’ve seen my Twitter page and they notice a change. They acknowledge that I do have a voice that doesn’t care a bit about mundane mores. This voice can get a bit too stupid too as it mocks the boss at office and family at home. But who cares.

My brother is a huge critic of my tweeting habits and I don’t blame him. He says I’m wasting my invisible-to-me talent on something that’s worthless. Well, all I can say is, “It doesn’t take talent to tweet, just a keyboard or keypad on cellphone will do. People either follow you or don’t but you walk alone. Always.” Though, I never say this to anyone. There is no need, you see.

People live by passion and then leave by memory. At the end of the day, nothing remains but words. Think about it. Its either words or in my case, tweets.

Five Fave Fotos For Fun!

This blog post is dedicated to BlogAdda's Travel Photo Contest for which I'm posting 5 of my favorite travel pics.

The pics I've selected for this contest belongs to the bike trip I and my friends took late December. We traveled down South and covered more than 3900 kms (how much I love boasting this figure!) and vroomed through 5 states including Maharashtra in 18 days.

Its pretty tough choice to make considering the amount of photos we clicked on road. You can check out some of the other pics here.

These are the 5 short-listed shots......


This pic was taken early morning after leaving our lodge in Solapur. The whole scenario was so breath-taking that we didn't had to signal each other to stop. We just did...on impulse and I clicked the sun-meets-fog moment!

This pic was taken somewhere near Hampi and it was fascinating to see a green chameleon literally robot-dancing its way on the middle of the road and a equally fascinated dog trying to check it out.

This mosque is located on the NH leading to Manjeshwar Beach in Kerala. The reason I love this picture is because of the contrasting green leaves against the beautiful white structure.

Traveling is lot about meeting interesting people and here you can see one such interesting guy in Ooty named Tenzing who was a Tibetan refugee but spoke far better Tamil than my amma. The person seated next to him with his mafiosi look was a local horse-rider and spoke impeccable Hindi! Diverse India indeed.

Two things are always difficult when the bike is running.....one, riding on NH at night-time and two, trying to click a snap pillion-seated! The focus is hardly there thanks to bumpy roads! This pic was taken very early morning when we left Panjim City for home!

Hope you enjoyed! Hopefully, that is. Thanks a lot for your time.

This contest is sponsored by Pringoo.

Shashi Tharoor resigns to political designs

For those who follow current affairs, must be knowing by now that Shashi Tharoor won’t be having an easy sleep tonight. He offered his resignation as Junior Foreign Minister and quite sadly, the Prime Minister accepted it impromptu.

Let me state first that I’m a huge fan of Mr. Tharoor. I believe he’s a fresh breath of air for Indian politics that is mired under the hopeless weight of decadence. Before entering political field, Tharoor was serving for United Nations with an impeccable record and almost clinched the Secretary General post, had it not been for United States’ meddling. Soon after, he left UN and headed to his home state Kerala and decided to contest general election from Trivandrum for Congress. Astonishingly, he won Parliament seat and was made Junior Foreign Minister under the UPA government. With senile SM Krishna at the top of Foreign Affairs, no one would doubt that he was to become India’s next Foreign Minister.

But one thing stayed firm: He was a political outsider who won’t have it easy with his western demeanor.

People say he puts foot into mouth and speaks out of turn. I don’t buy that. Unlike most other politicians, he has opinions, opinions that matter and he isn’t afraid to put them forth through mass media. If that is wrong, then the very idea of India adopting democracy is wrong.

The only time I felt he went out of sync was when he got himself into the big bad money spinning world of IPL which is headed by the egoistical Lalit Modi. Tharoor voiced his support for Kochi’s inclusion into the franchise for next season. He wanted Kerala to be on the cricket map and considering the lack of investment in this predominantly “Left” state (that is famous for infamous attitude towards any sort of revenue generating idea), IPL was a welcome move.

We are all well aware of Tharoor’s love for the gentleman’s game but that decision was the beginning of undone for him. The episode started with Modi questioning the identity of multi-crore stakeholders in Kochi team. After a week-long hue and cry with the opposition party accusing him of deigning to secure his girlfriend‘s stake in Kochi team, Tharoor gave up and resigned.

I can’t say Tharoor is clean or not but I can surely say that he paid a huge price compared to other people on the dais who have the audacity to judge him now. I don’t want to sound political but the whole Parliament reeks of distasteful scent of corruption and no one gets hurt there. Every one of them is safe thanks to their clout. On the other hand, Tharoor was left alone to defend himself against charges in Lok Sabha. Not even his home party voiced any support. The biggest surprise was the lack of any warmth from his home state for which he supposedly used his “influence”!!

Tomorrow’s newspaper will have interesting headlines but nothing will change the equilibrium of common sense. For we all know that unlike the spiteful politicians we are so used to, Tharoor inspired the new generation to think about our country for once. Unlike them, he practiced what he preached. And most importantly, unlike them, he paid a price to an open question of whether he was truly guilty or not. He is a role model for millions of Youngistanis and I’m not talking about Twitter alone. His reach towards youth is par expectation and something not seen since the days of our freedom struggle.

Shashi Tharoor resigned with no fault of *our* own. But the fact of the matter remains that he's still a parliamentarian and an able one at that so I wish he comes back stronger than ever and don’t give up this easily to unfair sagacity.

If death kisses me goodbye!

Whenever I talk about death, people think I'm being naive but in reality I'm just being futuristic! Now is that bad thing? No.

I keep thinking of death as if I’m older than I already am. I'm 23 but I feel like "world oldest 23 year old" so no wonder I can’t escape the question of how and when I'll be seeing my end. I believe life is unpredictable but death is totally unsustainable. It has this overpowering clout over restless heart.

Now what will happen if I die (either by train, road, freak accidents or whatever) today or tomorrow or day after tomorrow????

I guess the biggest change will be on my most visited Internet websites. I say so considering all the other deeds I've done in my life span. I don’t think anything comes close to the kind of passion I have for “virtual world” which in fact, seems more genuine than the real world I breathe in. If I overlook my failures being a loser that I am, I guess Internet has been a super-duper success for me. I have a voice on Internet pages and I don’t care whether it’s heard or not!

Once I’m dead, the first change will be noticed on my Twitter timeline! There won’t be any updates about what I’m thinking. The timeline will just pause. It won’t move ahead, just like that. No more sharing of stupid ideas passed off as wisdom or office-bashing lines or #JustSaying tweets or news-related links. Secondly my Facebook page will face the same calamity. I don’t know how my friends will react to this because they will be having no idea that I’m in hell waiting for them!

Talking of my virtual world friends, I guess they will be left in the lurch of ignorance as there won’t be any worldwide networking of the news of my departure. It would be as silent as it was before I entered the Internet age and found myself a comfortable space among these wonderful people (or tweeple as we call them now) I love to interact with. But then, I think they’ll give up on me. It is inevitable. My Internet pals in NYC or Romania or Pakistan won’t come looking for me in Mumbai once I stopped tweeting or social networking!

I also wonder about the kind of effort I put in on updating my Twitter 140-space, Facebook profile. I mean, no one will do that for me once I’m gone. I also worry about my Twitter handle, I mean, who will take care of that?!! And also what will happen to this devil-forsaken blog which is overwhelmingly forgettable, at best!

I know these are all speculations but it’s worthy. I don’t count my family here. That’s due to the fact that they are not as dysfunctional as I would like them to be. You have to be on either end of the extremes to be mentioned in my blog! Ah! So they better be left out of my foretasted death scenario.

On the other side, I just love my life on Twitter, Facebook and blogspot, not to mention several other sites where I regularly contribute my time. I’m an Internet addict, if that’s what you are pondering as of now and I wish to be this way till sanity (or death...whichever comes first) takes over!

Twitter, Addiction and Me!

Facebook is the coolest thing on Internet… but only when Twitter is having some loading-glitch (that happens most of the times because of excess users traffic)! Twitter, as of now, is the most happening thing on Internet for lots and lots of people right now, including me. That goes without having to say that I’m addicted to it. I’m a teetotaler and acapnotic but the level of indulgence I exhibit on Twitter is out of my rationale. The last thing I was so addicted to was jaggery which helped me drill some of my finest molars.

For beginners who are new to Twitter (who are not a tweeples yet), let me tell you its time you roll on. I’m saying this because there is no other “invention” on Internet other than Twitter that has the power to bring personalities like Obama, Shah Rukh Khan, Oprah, Paulo Coelho and Queen Rania to a common platform (and thankfully, the list doesn’t end there) but because Twitter is not about these celebrities alone. It’s for all of us who ‘follow’ and get ‘followed’ and even ‘unfollow’ in some cases!

Twitter is in a commoner’s language, a mini-blogging site where a member can ‘tweet’ which means, type out any thing s/he wants, be it sentence or links of videos and songs, onto the 140 characters-limited-space! Now, this may sound crazy. Just 140 characters, that’s it. You dare to bring the powers, the famous faces of the world and then hand them just 140 characters limitation to express themselves. I guess, funny as it may sound but that’s precisely why Twitter is what it is today. It’s precise in its outlook and smooth in its real time functions that includes direct messaging, re-tweeting, uploading photos and so on.

As for me, Twitter has been a staple diet since 29th December 2008 when my dear friend Varun told me about it. Even today he regrets why he did that! That is so because he feels that Twitter has taken up my life and made me immobile (which is true if you consider that the only part of my body that had constant exercise since Dec’08 are my fingers!!). There are hardly people around me who like me being on Twitter as if it won’t function well without my presence on the timeline. I’ve faced severe repercussions in my office too where none other than my Manager himself blocked the site after he caught me tweeting to glory. But the addiction wasn’t to stop. It kept getting stronger and stronger.

Frankly speaking, the only reason I’m on Twitter is because of its spontaneity. Twitter provides me the opportunity to post any rubbish thoughts or quotes or website links or lyrics or verses or songs-I’m-listening-to or movies-I’m-watching blah blah blah. That’s one of the primal reasons why I adore Twitter. The other reason is the people I’ve befriended on it. They brighten me up (though my mom won’t agree!!). She says Twitter is for jobless or kaam-chors (lazy bones!!). My dad taunts me by saying, “How come you are never done with that application form?” referring to the 140-character-space box which I keep filling!

According to my brother, I was crazy to leave engineering amid my second year itself but was crazier to get hitched to Twitter. He even attributes my laziness and procrastinating endeavors to the “might” of Twitter! I used to be quite a regular blogger before I joined Twitter but now am reduced to chances of #FailWhale which means that Twitter is not loading up due to traffic and that’s what happened about half an hour ago or else this post wouldn’t have been possible!!

No matter what, Twitter is the way of the future and our present is just a bridge to that way so I believe we can cover it happily by tweeting from whatever source available, be it web or cellphone, as much as we like.

Shashi Tharoor Twittered!

We, Indians, have this way with emotions that is quite unique in all aspects of understanding. It’s difficult to decipher when and how we’ll be offended. It has something to do with our DNA that defines us the way we are and the funny thing is that we are absolutely OKAY with it. I guess there must be a strong reason behind this whole panorama, to say the least. But for the time being, let the sleeping devil lie!

I have no issue with us being Indians and acting all “Indian”, be it our choice of cinema, our music, way of life and humor but it gets on my nerve when I see our dear MEDIA trying to milk away on us. The recent episode of Shashi Tharoor (I’m sure you all know him; if not, then Google him. Its time you do) and his “tweeting” controversy (labeled Twittergate!!!), all scrutinized and condemned by the politicos and journos, tells us how much our so-called fourth estate needs a change of view, just for a change.


Well, Shashi Tharoor is not the everyday corrupt MP that India is so used to and he comes from an elite background and a career that glistens in his everyday life activities (Tweeter being one of them).

Tweeter is gumption in today’s world and I can’t exclude India from that world, even if it’s confined to just urban areas. It’s a kind of mini-blogging site where you can post message or sentence of 140 characters including the space and punctuations. In simpler words, it’s a craze of sort. Or else, how can we explain the presence of dignitaries like Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd and Gordon Brown, gleefully tweeting on it, and not to mention other famous and big shots like Oprah Winfrey, Ashton Kutcher, Jonathan Ross, Hugh Jackman and sports personalities like Andy Murray, Williams Sisters, Shaq O’Neal and Lance Armstrong. Some renowned Indians too have made their presence (read Tweets) felt on Twitter including Pritesh Nandy, Chetan Bhagat, Priyanka Chopra and Karan Johar but SHASHI THAROOR takes the cake with 231,635 followers, as of now.

Tharoor’s presence on Twitter definitely contributed to its success in India. He has this aura of success, achievement and definitely a missing demeanor that is the need of time. He is an able diplomat cum author cum human rights activist. His success in recent General Election in which he shook the stronghold of communist party in Thiruvananthapuram, his constituent now, is a breather for many. But one cardinal rule remains true to Shashi Tharoor: He is not a politician. And this ‘liability’ is what making the mountain of a mole in Tharoor’s case. But does he really need to be one to serve his beloved nation?

About a week or so ago, he was asked by a journalist on Twitter whether he too will travel in cattle class (a famous reference to anything crowded), in view of the recent austerity drive preached and ‘proposed to be practiced’ by the ruling party, Congress, to which Tharoor belongs. Since the question was asked in jest, he too answered in jest saying “absolutely, in cattle class out of solidarity with all our holy cows.”

Of course, he didn’t mean any offense considering the fact that he isn’t the kind who shies away from temple to prove his western outlook. But the way the media played the role of devil’s advocate was not only tiresome and clichéd but even haphazard in some sense. They encroached on his Twittering as if it was a crime of sort.

The media joke didn’t end there. It went on publish stories of how Tharoor was complaining about excessive workload that was backlogging on him due to his 6 days visit to Liberia and Ghana. Thankfully, Tharoor continued twittering about his visit in bright positivity on strengthening international relationships. The sad part was, when instead of covering the African visit, the media was busy pinning on Twittergate and its backlashes from opposition party demanding Tharoor’s resignation!!

Media just couldn’t overcome the hangover on that stupid joke that was supposed to be forgotten like our wise PM suggested. I’m glad our PM is a man to reckon with, not the usual fools we have up there.

I read Tharoor was supposedly asked to refrain from Twittering which I don’t think he adhered to, thus debunking the hogwash of our everyday newspapers and lot. He is a public servant and he needs to keep his personal perspective in check and I do agree with the required code of conduct but I don’t think you need to teach a guy who spent almost three decades as a diplomat in United Nations and had a Ph.D at the age of 22 and has authored more than ten books. His only crime was his sense of humor!

In a country where politicians are hardly looked up to, let alone followed, Tharoor is ray of hope for us or at least to me. I’ve been following him since long and I was thrilled with his appointment as a Minister in External Affairs. I’m active on Twitter too and follow Shashi Tharoor’s comments with zeal because he exudes this enigmatic charm that was absent in almost all of the past public servant, may be due to lack of Internet Age or maybe, plain lack of magnetism!

One thing is for sure, now, Mr. Tharoor must be well aware of Indian Media’s strong ambiguity when it comes to a guy who spent most of his life traveling around the world and settles down in India with a silver ticket to Parliament!!!!!