This is my eleventh month in Gurgaon and i often come across questions asking me how i find Delhi. I end up explaining to them that Gurgaon is different from Delhi as they are two separate places. However, there is something very common to both these cities: assholes. So what? All cities have them, right? True (and you can trust me on this given my journalistic background in mid-day where i heard some of the goriest city stories) but these assholes are different. They are quite proud of being assholes. Their stories aren't featured in newspapers because they are considered normal by their kind. They'll cut queues in supermarkets while chewing gum. They'll take your parking spot with a smug face. They'll request you to take your bag off from the chair in a restaurant only to later keep their bag on the same chair. They are loud in cinema halls and create a mess out of their popcorn buckets. They'll keep honking in traffic despite knowing that the signal is red. They'll resort to violence because they don't know what logic means. They'll shoo away labourers' kids from the park just because they look poor. They'll treat their maids like shit not only in private but also in public since they don't care. I know of a building where they don't let the nanny drink water lest she has to use loo, something they can't let happen lest she ruins their fancy toilet. They have a problem with street dogs in the colony because they bark. They don't have a problem with others having a problem with their loud annoying music (read: Yo Yo Honey Singh) playing late into the night. Forget dogs, they even have a problem with puppies. So much so a lady from my neighbourhood intentionally ran over a puppy killing it on the spot. Her son is the only kid i know who STILL uses his Diwali toy gun to scare away the dogs. During Holi, he bombarded a mongrel with water balloons and when the startled creature gnarled back at him, he ran to his mommy dearest claiming that the mad dog was trying to bite him. And if that's not unfair enough for you, last winter, an elderly Jat guy (who stays three buildings away) set a street dog on fire to prove a point to another guy who used to feed it. [The police and animal helpline were called but nothing helpful happened because it's stupidity to expect animal laws to be effective in a country where human laws are effete.] I mean, how fucked up are you, man? I get it that you are wealthy and i'm not even going to question how you made your money because we both know that won't be a comfortable spot. But still, how difficult is it to hide the fact that you are a Grade A asshole? I get it that you can buy designer apparels but it's impossible to buy class. I know that must hurt you. I empathize with you. It must be very tough to prove to everyone around you that you've been traditionally rich with your swanky villa and flashy cars. In the back of your head, you know it's a charade that won't last long. I hope you see light someday but i'm worried about your kids and grandkids. They are probably going to emulate you thinking you are normal when you aren't. And someday, they'll crash into the bigger truth. When THAT happens, they'll hate you. They'll be sorry for they come from you. Until then, enjoy your smug face.
The greatest irony is these assholes own (purebred) dogs too, not because they love them but because it's a symptom of status. No wonder they hire a walker for their overfed but underloved pets.