Mum's the paragraph

Medieval Europe often baffled itself with this question: What makes the world go round and round? Instead of concentrating on Heliocentric theories, the thinkers should have looked for answers close home. Mother. Or should it be mothers? They ensure the spinning of our planet. [Sounds unlikely? Well, your birth was unlikely too.] This phenomenon isn't a contribution from humankind alone. It's generic to other breathing creatures as well. Motherhood is the reason why Earth can still claim to be hatke. One doesn't have to be mamma's boy to acknowledge this fact. It's self-evident. Look around. Seek the purest form of love, devoid of derivatives or moribundity. Lo! Mother's love, it is. She might not be the world's greatest mom but she is yours to keep. And it's not just today. Science may disagree but she compels Earth's rotation/revolution/evolution/etc day in and day out.

If and then

Remember those school days when they asked us to pen imaginative essays on 'If i were the Prime Minister blah blah'? If only i was enlightened enough then to begin my first and final paragraph as follows:

If i were the Prime Minister of this chaotic country, i'd have not wasted a minute on writing this silly piece of garbage. Besides, there's hardly any probable merit attached to this futile exercise when all that matters is the score a student grabs at the end of the semester—forget his/her reading skills, pronunciation or the ability to sustain a conversation in English. No offence to the authority. Just that i'd be having far more important things to deal with if i were the PM. Like making sure more concrete steps are undertaken to educate our kids in a manner that will make them feel learned and proud of their mother tongue, not forcefully Anglicized with an overdose of lingual superiority complex. 

Nice try though, teacher.

Sincerely yours, 

Honourable Prime Minister of India. 

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