Confessions

There are million of topics to cover. Still, I’ve decided to write about my mother. It has something to do with recent “developments” around me. She turned 57 yesterday. And we celebrated it for the first time! Birthdays aren’t a big event in our household especially after my younger brother’s demise that happened too soon and too long back.

Lately, I haven’t been good to her and of course, I feel bad about it. And the worst thing is, she never changed a bit towards me. I did the changing part. The same old love, the same old care, the usual insecurity about my future. I wasn’t this bad when I was a kid. She used to call me “bangaar baaley” which in Tulu translates to “Golden Kid”. I hardly troubled her with my studies because I was an above average kid in school whereas my younger bro, Sai, was terrible and a pathetic student. He kept my poor amma (mom) on her heels.

But times change, don’t they? Today, he is the blue-eyed boy who picked himself up and made strides to book himself among the brights whereas I left the corridor of success to wander in the delight of carelessness. I don’t blame anything or anyone for my current state of disarray but the only one person who really suffered was she. She placed huge hopes and labor to realize her dreams of seeing me like my former schoolmates and friends are now.

She was supportive even when I told her I wanted to be a writer. My dad didn’t had a clue how a writer becomes a writer. But she had her doubts and those doubts took the better off her. She was misled into believing that writers or academicians had no “healthy” future. Remarkably, she didn’t coerce me into engineering. I was just listless so I must admit she just did her part of a good mother, accompanying me to colleges for rounds of application and cut-offs. She was always there trying to catch up with my quick steps.

I didn’t complete my graduation. Let alone complete, I didn’t attend even college properly or appeared for exams. Instead I was lost in my world of words and poem. I was sinking in the quicksand of world cinema. I used to bunk college to attend film festivals all over Mumbai. I did everything that I was already doing in Nashik but at least I was studying well there. Here, I was a thorough truant, possessed and a confirmed variant. Ultimately I left engineering for good in 2008.

She is a pious lady so she was appalled when I decided to discontinue practicing the religious rituals I was used to since I was a kid. That too disappointed her a bit but she never wailed or made a big fuss out of it. Although at times, she did made it known that maybe, I was paying for disservice towards God. She thought my mind was clouded. I just laughed it off and I still laugh.

Even on the day of cancelling admission, I remember her talking to the clerk with poignant expression and asking her “whether “it was common for students to leave engineering?” She is naive but honest. I exploited every bit of it.

She is beloved. Everyone loves her. She used to be crowded by my friends during school days whenever she came for exam paper checking day. Even today, my colleagues at office seemingly feel that I’m the “bad guy” in the play. They are right, nonetheless.

One of my closest friend, Afzal, lost his mom last week and I saw him cry for the very first time in our five years of contact. I can’t even fathom the kind of lost he must be feeling. How can you ever replace someone as vital as you mother? Will I be able to make it outside if there isn’t a mother inside my home? Was I really not a mama’s boy and just pretended to be papa’s champ? Questions kept flooding and are still flowing in. Mothers are just great and that’s exceptionally natural.

So, yesterday, I decided to cut off from my usual classes and decided to surprise her by taking her to an eatery nearby and it was one great affair. While Its funny how I never took my mother anywhere because I was busy with my movies, Internet, poems and words. Sai was the one doing the things a son is supposed to. I was busier calling him “amma’s pet”! By the way, she wanted me to visit my barber as a birthday gift!

I wish she lives a happy life and find a day to see me as someone I want to be-contend and free. But she is of the old mode so it will take time and I’m going to make the best of that time available. I’m going nowhere. I’m just going to change.

Wake Up Byd (Bollywood)

I’ve been waiting for Wake Up Sid since I saw its promos during Kaminey. It was released on Gandhi Jayanthi and I went to watch it yester-evening. And I knew this movie would have a bit of me in it just like most of my fellow youth out there!
First of all, I was glad that Bollywood is coming out of age and encouraging movies like these which isn’t “family-oriented” in general sense of bollywoodish speaking! The story is about a guy named Sidharth (Sid) who is the only son of a wealthy businessman and is not sure about his present or future, let alone his life. He is just happy spendthrifting his dad’s money on friends and lot. Then he meets this girl named Aisha who had somehow fulfilled her dream of coming to Mumbai from Kolkata and wants to lead an independent life of her.
The boy who is much younger than the female protagonist [which is't a norm yet!!] and has failed in his final years exam of graduation! The movie takes us through the unaware innocence of Sid’s hedonism and also through Aisha’s perceived emotional dependence that she initially doesn’t realize until the day Sid is about to move out of her life! Every guy has a bit of Sid in him and every gal has a bit of Aisha.
So you get the exact picture here. The movie is not the usual B’wood masala. It’s not novel either. If you follow cinema, you surely must have come across such movies where the boy is totally confused and lost about his career or what he wants to do with his life. Karan Johar who produced this movie is one of the “young turks” of Bollywood who will flirt with such ideas that are not only refreshing but even palatable in many ways, at least to the urban GenNext crowd, mostly college going kids!
This deviation started with the success of Dil Chahta Hai (DCH) by Farhan Akhtar who successfully made a movie that not only made college movies cool again but started a trend of sort. And I’m absolutely delighted with this new dawn in B’wood.
Wake Up Sid is a perfect tribute to the essence of Bombay (or Mumbai, if you like) and sings ode to the city with thousands of snaps throughout the movie. I guess its one of the kind, at least to my narrow knowledge where Mumbai is shown in such bright light. The music was awesome and Shankar-Ehsan-Loy rocked again. They did their magic with DCH earlier and this time too, they didn’t disappoint.
Its time Bollywood wakes up to such cinema and am glad she's yawning her way out of stupid formula movie with running around the tree thing!! Wake Up Bollywood!

Mahatma

In 30 minutes time, we’ll be passing Mahatma Gandhi’s 140th birth anniversary and will step into just another common day. But before that happens, I wish to do something with this remnant left of a great day that’s celebrated not only in India but also all across the world.

I admire Gandhi like no one else. To me, he defines humanity. His life, as a votary of stark truth, makes me ponder if at all, someone ever in flesh again can ever emulate him, at least on such a global scale. He is an inspiration, not only to legions of legendary greats like Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu but even to millions of unnamed hordes we’ll never know.

It’s a bit amusing to see my fellow colleagues talk about Gandhi as he was a villain of sort who partitioned India during independence. Foremost of all, they don’t have their basics cleared. They don’t read, nor wish to read and get a strong part in argument. They just believe the folklore we are so accustomed to where Gandhi represents a guy who gave up a huge part of India on its eastern and western side to some guy in Saville Row suit!! Obviously, I can’t argue with them and get make them see things in a brighter light but it’s all right as long as I don’t lose my cool and I must say, I haven’t yet.

No leader, be it spiritual or political, was able to bring such mass movement. He wasn’t under anyone’s patronage and still managed to bring about such a huge following which hasn’t died even today. Before him, India had northern leader, southern leader, western leader and eastern leader but he was the first to rightly call himself the national leader. He was never the one for photo finish. He hardly got any honorary recognition that contemparory leaders are so used to. He was nominated for Nobel Peace Prize for a record five times and each time he was brushed aside due to political reasons. Britain and Sweden had a cordial relationship and didn’t want to ruin it for some “seditious fakir” in dhoti!

At last, after India got her independence in ‘47, the Nobel committee decided to nominate him again but before anything could be done, some guy shot him dead. The Nobel decided not to give the Prize to anyone that year as a sign of recognition to the pacifist soul. He wasn’t the one who unfurled tricolor on that “tryst with destiny” night. He was far too busy in Bengal trying to douse communal fire. A man who could have lived a fox life with a lapel that says, “I’m a lawyer”, decided to change course of his life in truth and eventually lives of millions and billions henceforth.

Today’s generation is a bit loose on fact files and knowledge. They think history is dead but the truth is even present is dead if we don’t get in touch with our past. They will always come up with loopholes and try to upfront their line that Gandhi was flawed. Well, he was flawed like any personality in the whole annals of history but at least he had the courage to accept it and move on rather than stay accustomed to the clichés of greatness and covering of demerits. He didn’t leave behind him a filial political dynasty that other freedom fighters mostly do. It’s irony that Nehru family ruled India under the pseudonym of Gandhi!

Gandhi was, and is, and surely will be the Mahatma, no matter how much our so-called urban GenNext dislike it. Like Einstein said, “Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.”

Its time India wakes up to what Gandhi was up to, he wanted India the way he was; austere, honest, self-reliant, moralistic, persevering and courageous.

By the way, i’m 5 minutes count down to next day, a new start, a new midnight that has its tryst with truth.

Loving you

What is there to love, except,
some words of wit, cadence of praise
in bountiful lores of delicious taste,
a beguiling line of face called smile
and thunderous call called words
blood flowing like ink of life
writing stories of endless pain and plight
and cute ears that listens to mine,
and sweet sight called gaze of eyes
that cries and begets my lies
every single line, every single time.

Shashi Tharoor Twittered!

We, Indians, have this way with emotions that is quite unique in all aspects of understanding. It’s difficult to decipher when and how we’ll be offended. It has something to do with our DNA that defines us the way we are and the funny thing is that we are absolutely OKAY with it. I guess there must be a strong reason behind this whole panorama, to say the least. But for the time being, let the sleeping devil lie!

I have no issue with us being Indians and acting all “Indian”, be it our choice of cinema, our music, way of life and humor but it gets on my nerve when I see our dear MEDIA trying to milk away on us. The recent episode of Shashi Tharoor (I’m sure you all know him; if not, then Google him. Its time you do) and his “tweeting” controversy (labeled Twittergate!!!), all scrutinized and condemned by the politicos and journos, tells us how much our so-called fourth estate needs a change of view, just for a change.


Well, Shashi Tharoor is not the everyday corrupt MP that India is so used to and he comes from an elite background and a career that glistens in his everyday life activities (Tweeter being one of them).

Tweeter is gumption in today’s world and I can’t exclude India from that world, even if it’s confined to just urban areas. It’s a kind of mini-blogging site where you can post message or sentence of 140 characters including the space and punctuations. In simpler words, it’s a craze of sort. Or else, how can we explain the presence of dignitaries like Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd and Gordon Brown, gleefully tweeting on it, and not to mention other famous and big shots like Oprah Winfrey, Ashton Kutcher, Jonathan Ross, Hugh Jackman and sports personalities like Andy Murray, Williams Sisters, Shaq O’Neal and Lance Armstrong. Some renowned Indians too have made their presence (read Tweets) felt on Twitter including Pritesh Nandy, Chetan Bhagat, Priyanka Chopra and Karan Johar but SHASHI THAROOR takes the cake with 231,635 followers, as of now.

Tharoor’s presence on Twitter definitely contributed to its success in India. He has this aura of success, achievement and definitely a missing demeanor that is the need of time. He is an able diplomat cum author cum human rights activist. His success in recent General Election in which he shook the stronghold of communist party in Thiruvananthapuram, his constituent now, is a breather for many. But one cardinal rule remains true to Shashi Tharoor: He is not a politician. And this ‘liability’ is what making the mountain of a mole in Tharoor’s case. But does he really need to be one to serve his beloved nation?

About a week or so ago, he was asked by a journalist on Twitter whether he too will travel in cattle class (a famous reference to anything crowded), in view of the recent austerity drive preached and ‘proposed to be practiced’ by the ruling party, Congress, to which Tharoor belongs. Since the question was asked in jest, he too answered in jest saying “absolutely, in cattle class out of solidarity with all our holy cows.”

Of course, he didn’t mean any offense considering the fact that he isn’t the kind who shies away from temple to prove his western outlook. But the way the media played the role of devil’s advocate was not only tiresome and clichéd but even haphazard in some sense. They encroached on his Twittering as if it was a crime of sort.

The media joke didn’t end there. It went on publish stories of how Tharoor was complaining about excessive workload that was backlogging on him due to his 6 days visit to Liberia and Ghana. Thankfully, Tharoor continued twittering about his visit in bright positivity on strengthening international relationships. The sad part was, when instead of covering the African visit, the media was busy pinning on Twittergate and its backlashes from opposition party demanding Tharoor’s resignation!!

Media just couldn’t overcome the hangover on that stupid joke that was supposed to be forgotten like our wise PM suggested. I’m glad our PM is a man to reckon with, not the usual fools we have up there.

I read Tharoor was supposedly asked to refrain from Twittering which I don’t think he adhered to, thus debunking the hogwash of our everyday newspapers and lot. He is a public servant and he needs to keep his personal perspective in check and I do agree with the required code of conduct but I don’t think you need to teach a guy who spent almost three decades as a diplomat in United Nations and had a Ph.D at the age of 22 and has authored more than ten books. His only crime was his sense of humor!

In a country where politicians are hardly looked up to, let alone followed, Tharoor is ray of hope for us or at least to me. I’ve been following him since long and I was thrilled with his appointment as a Minister in External Affairs. I’m active on Twitter too and follow Shashi Tharoor’s comments with zeal because he exudes this enigmatic charm that was absent in almost all of the past public servant, may be due to lack of Internet Age or maybe, plain lack of magnetism!

One thing is for sure, now, Mr. Tharoor must be well aware of Indian Media’s strong ambiguity when it comes to a guy who spent most of his life traveling around the world and settles down in India with a silver ticket to Parliament!!!!!

2 years of typing and listening!

Today I completed 2 years. Two years of utter delight in performing 'sleight-of-hand' that may sound frivolous to a "careerist"!

It was exactly on this day in 2007 that I started my job here at Green Point Technology Services [GPTS] as a trainee transcriber. I had failed in my fourth semester exams and was nervous but wanted to get out my house and earn money anyhow. I was an insomniac too so it helped in my job as it required nocturnal presence. I remember being so happy and excited then. The happiness gradually gave way to rationality and beckoning of reality. And that's the sad part about staying at a job where you don't know what your tomorrow is all about. Moreover, my parents hated this job of mine!

For starters, business transcription is a simpleton job where you listen to an audio file on headphone and transcribe it out on MS Word document. It all depends on your English listening skill, discerning quality and typing speed. I was a bit slow initially during my training days but eventually brewed up to comfortable "finger-tapping". Today its my speed that is making me stay put in this company coz I don't see any better reason for a transcription company to hold on to a guy who hasn't promoted himself to Editor's post yet, in 2 years time!

Time flies by and we can't hold on to it but we certainly can rely a lot on our indiscreet memory. I reminisce how quickly the time has flown. Two years!! The last two years saw most of my polytechnic and college friends begin their "career" in some MNCs either in Mumbai, Pune or Bangalore. And they really tried hard to coax me out of here by using the same ole career mumbo-jumbo. I stuck to my grounds (or to my idiocracy) and here I'm still transcribing away to glory!

We all pursue happiness and for some, it has a huge price of societal bondage. Mine is a bit simpler. I don't deal with real society. I'm far happy with the virtual internet society and I can't blame anyone for being 23 years of age and having no career, girlfriend or life! But I can surely bring some perspective to the role that my current job played in three of the above mentioned arena.

I never wanted a career. I remember telling my mom that I would be a writer like Ruskin Bond after completing SSC. That was quite naïve and my parents were not too thrilled about my choice. Eventually, I packed my bag to Government Polytechnic Nashik for three years diploma. Then came back to Mumbai for Bachelors degree which still eludes me and I'm not talking about the one in Electronics. I haven't got one in Arts either though I must say I've starting in the RIGHT direction by getting enrolling in long distance B.A course! But who cares about career in a transcription industry. Everyone is so engrossed with the file and TAT and deadline and devil-knows-what that it hardly matters what field you come from (or are going to)!!!

Turning to the second topic, I never expected to have any girlfriend here at this job where females are considered RUMORS!! So that pretty much helped me keep my slate clean and title of "MOST SINGLEST GUY EVER" alive! But I must say that I was pretty blessed after meeting some like-minded friends out here who were a lot like me (but will deny it). I met Tushar (who later became my brokeback partner… not the movie kind of course!) We are mostly broke and I'm always on back of his bike. Then there were Shybu, Rojella (he keeps changing his name so I'm sticking with this one), Deeva (light-eyed wonder boy with sweaty hands and empty pants) and Aly (well his name is Alliston but I prefer Aly, nickname for Alien). All of these guys rocked on day one and still manage to do, somehow.

Thirdly, my life has been pretty much erratic, confused and sweet with lots of movies (CINEMA saved me from insanity), football (I still play bad but I'm happy with it), music (language evaporated a long time back), PC upgradation (at last I was able to do something about my piggish PC tho its not worth it… its still not kosher, nor working well), aphthous ulcers (it happens with graveyard shift dinner time), poems (I left poetry writing and now prefer one-liners which I post regularly on Facebook, Twitter and Orkut though not everything I post belongs to me…I'm a great 'copywriter' too) and yada yada yada….

Two years is not a huge number to boast of considering my dad is completing his 40th year under one hotel family but considering the job-jumping guys do around, I guess it's certainly an achievement and it's my first full-time job too. We can keep regretting the decisions we took but it hardly matters when the curtain is down. So I must say I'm pretty much elated with everything around me and I wouldn't have missed it at any given cost. GPTS rocks, my colleagues rock and foremost of all, my ignorance rocks!

Sixth time unlucky at US Open!

I know I'm not the only one on this face of planet with a broken heart tonight. There are millions out there who wanted Roger Federer to go an inch further and grab that title. Of course, I'm talking about US Open 2009 which was snatched by Juan Martin Del Potro (DelPo), a 20 year lad from Argentina, with overpowering game and feral instinct on court. If only the match was won by my athletic icon, I would have been writing this blog in a different tone, a more triumphant sort of one. But sadly, that isn't the case and I can just hopelessly reflect on what happened in that deciding 5th set.

Federer was comfortable in the first set with an easy win, was persistent in the second set which ultimately went into a tie-breaker and won by DelPo. The third set saw Federer get back to what he does best: WIN. The fourth set had all the drama of a perfect movie script. Both were neck to neck fighting, one for the title, other to stay in the match and force a fifth setter. Ultimately it was the hopeless that fought and won hope. Federer lost the 4th set and had to play in the decider set. The fourth set contained a match point for Federer which could have avoided the disappointment that was to follow but DelPo was strong and firm enough to stave away the scare. Federer not only lost the set but even lost his ubiquitous cool. He even used the F-word against the Chair Umpire. When was the last time Federer used an audible F-word on court?


With the fifth set getting on a go, it turned the heat up on both the players and it showed. DelPo with his lean, tall stature was showing sign of extreme fatigue whereas the ever-cool Federer was exhibiting signs of mental torture, not only from his failing game strategy but also due to the boisterous crowd ranting "Vamos DelPo" and "Ole" at full stretch. The crowd was more appropriate for soccer match and even the Chair Umpire realized it as very few was paying heeding to the famous "Thank you, Silence Please!!"

Within a span of 15 minutes, DelPo was leading 3-0 and it made me damn nervous, least to say. I could smell something really bad will follow and it did. Federer was not only hitting balls miles away from his usual bull's eye but even was falling prey to conniptions. That showed when he argued with the Chair Umpire about a call that turned out to be a false and was actually made by some erratic spectator. Federer wasn't Federer and it clearly resulted in giving up which Federer hardly ever does, at least not in a Grand Slam event. Within the next 30 minutes, the match was up, DelPo was down….on the court crying tears of joy and Federer, in his gentlemanly best, applauded the new Champion at award giving ceremony.

If only Federer had won this one and kept his 40 match winning streaks at US Open alive, I would have had a better day today. This may sound hyped but I couldn't sleep after watching this "horror". The last set kept repeating itself in my dreams and messed up my already twisted brain! For me, it's more like watching a guy who can extend the threshold of human endurance and create new boundaries for future humankind to achieve and upset. Pete Sampras made it possible for a Federer to dream of 14 and more Grand Slam titles. Similarly, I want Federer to make it possible for a DelPo or a Murray to dream of 20 or more GS titles someday in future. But as of now, Federer is still stuck at 15!!!

I remember Federer crying like a sweetheart after losing to Rafael Nadal in this year's Australian Open Final and I tried to convince myself that he'll come back strong. And thankfully he did come back like a Phoenix. And that's exactly what I'll do again. I can't give up on a great Champion like him. Nadal, without his knees is nothing and that's because his game is centered on his pace whereas Federer is a more complete and nuanced player. I can only fret about how close Federer was to the well but he died thirsty and all but it doesn't matter. He missed on the William Renshaw's record of 6 consecutive Wimbledon titles, thanks to Nadal and similarly, he missed Bill Tilden's 6th consecutive US titles record.

But it's OK. It's all right. He will rise again and grab what belongs to him and in a manner that won't have any angry tantrum with the Chair Umpire or any sign of complacency. He is a genius and even geniuses have bad days. Today was just one of them and he can get over it.