Were you porn curious too?

Yesterday, an intense conversation took place in the car back home. The question was "What are we going to do if we don't have the job that we have right now?" for the night. There were different but candid replies from all the parties involved. One emphasized on sticking to his creative side while another elaborated on the fulfillment with her current position. When it was my turn, i said something to the effect of going back to teaching. I wasn't lying. I indeed enjoyed teaching kids, filling their minds with whatever i assumed to be right. Of course, you can't change the world with that but you try. By the time we reached home, the topic was settled. 

But come to think of it, i wasn't entirely honest. 

I have Plan B too. If i'm out of job, i'll go visit Cuba and get penile enlargement thing done on me. free of cost (because Fidel Castro cares about dick). Once i get my right size, i'll take the reverse route of Bay of Pigs Invasion and trespass into the USA. From there, i'll go to LA like all girls with big dreams go. Since it'd be a new place for me, i'll adopt a new identity too. Sunny Leone. Because just like Shakti, Sunny happens to be a unisex name. Sunny Deol, anyone? The real reason behind this supersmart move is to eat on the mileage Leone gets on the Internet. Whenever guys with hardon google Sunny Leone, they'll end up finding me. I won't mind the curses as long as i'm a pornstar. It'd be an awesome plan. Now that the job question is settled, all i need now is a life. 

Getting hammered

There was a time, not very long ago, i wondered whether carrying a walking cane would be appropriate. No, not for support. Just like that. I thought it'd add character to my non-existence (FYI, this was 2011). Later, i developed a fascination with smoking pipe. I simply loved the way scientists and philosophers held one in the corner of their mouths and accomplished three tasks synchronously: smoking, talking and charming. As expected, i neither got a cane nor a pipe. As of today, i've bred a new passion. A burning desire to hold a hammer in my hand and walk around. Yup, a wooden hammer. I'd love to brandish it while strolling in a mall or walking on a street and better still, even while taking the stairs in office. Just like that (again). Of course, the idea isn't to scare or hurt. If at all, anybody raises objection, i'd rebutt by pointing out that they carry around their cellphones even when they aren't using them. It could be a weapon of mass destruction too. All one needs to do is aim (to scare) and throw (to hurt) accurately, isn't it? On that note, it'd be supercool to hold a walking cane in one hand and a wooden hammer in another while balancing a non-smoking pipe in my mouth.