Pee and space

School teaches us a lot about the society we live in. But it misses out on some key lessons of life. For instance, it doesn’t bother to explain how bad breath can single-highhandedly destroy your career. Or for that matter, why being silent is a symptom of strength in today’s ecosystem. Most worryingly, modern-day schools continue to pretend as if corruption is a word from fairy tales. The world is changing so fast while our education system (is it education system or literacy system because there’s a massive difference between the two?) continues to be stuck in a time zone. Maybe that’s why it’s becoming increasingly difficult to face the uncertain future that we’ve created for ourselves. But my greatest issue with the way things are today is the absolute disregard for etiquette in toilets. No, it doesn’t matter whether the toilet is stinking rich with urea like a desi toilet is supposed to. My concern is the way men behave with the lottery system in place.

None of the schools teach the kids to go for the first or the fifth urinal if all of them are available. That way, you don’t create an awkward situation for fellowmen. Let’s say you pick 2, the next guy will have to choose 4 to maintain the much-required space in a sanitary relationship. And then the following guy who shows up will have to choose between 1, 3 and 5. None of these options bode well for any of the three people, especially if they have a medical condition that automatically shuts their peeholes if a person is standing right next to them with his dick out.

Schadenfreude

I'm not the kind of person who'd feel better if an enemy trips and falls flat on his/her face. I'm not an albino angel with wings either. Just that i'm too lazy to build enemies and much lazier to check what exactly they are up to. Never really had that sort of time and energy to invest. Having said that, my engineering background—failed engineering background, actually—allows me the exclusive thrill to see what's going on in the job market. And here's the news: I experience a bit of relish at others' (read: engineering students') expense. After reading that nearly 80% of the one million Indian engineers graduating every year are not real engineers in Mint, i'm feeling better. I'm supposed to be indifferent but no. Sorry, not happening. What a relief to know that engineers in India are sub-standard and companies are fed up of rampant mediocrity! As a result, they, like me, are now prepared to be underpaid for job's sake. Whoa! Blame it on the system. When youngsters enter college as engineering students only to bundle out as engineering students, what else can one expect? In my defense, i dropped out of college in my second year with a dismal scoresheet to boot. I could sense that i goofed up big time. But at least i didn't turn into a hapless techie. Not that i'm a Grade A journo today but there's a lot of scope along with hope. Math ensured that i'll never become a decent Electronics & Telecom engineer. I would have eventually joined the queue of wannabe engineers who never made it. Needless to espouse, it's better to be a wannabe film journalist.

PS: Since i started this post on my non-existent enemies, let me end it on an existing friend. I can't boast of too many non-virtual pals but amongst the minority group that i'm proud of, Tushar heads the list. And the most admirable thing about him is he has never asked me—not even once—why did i quit engineering. He simply never bothered to know.