Vocational hazard

Over the years, i've had several thoughts about what i really want to do with my life. Because i know one thing for sure—even if i'm mistaken about everything else—this existence as a human is not a fluke. Each one of us is here with a purpose. However, very few manage to find theirs. Like i mentioned earlier, i've had thoughts. Real, deep, futile ones but still. Sharing a few that took form of words, is all.

Me: I want to be a fisherman. 

ABC: Try Pacific Ocean. Indian Ocean's isn't THAT deep.

Me: I want to be a teacher. 

DEF: What are you going to teach? How to become the prime minister of Pessimism? 

Me: I want to be a film critic. 

GHI: Devere! Just because you're an expert at downloading movies illegally? 

Me: I want to be an engineer. 

JKL: You're going to make a fine clone of a lower middle-class Indian who pretends to be an upper middle-class Indian. No offence, just kidding!

Me: I want to be a poet. 

MNO: For real? Hmm. If i'm hearing you right, you want to die of starvation? 

Me: I want to be a photographer. 

PQR: Last checked, the world hasn't turned completely blind. 

Me: I want to be a farmer. 

STU: Are you out of your mind? Or are you forgetting that sun is usually out of the cloud? Or both?

Me: I want to be a writer.

VWX: Going by your blog, you can't write more than 350 words at one go. 

Me: I want to be a prophet.

YZA: Now we're talking, my bipolar friend.

Schadenfreude

I'm not the kind of person who'd feel better if an enemy trips and falls flat on his/her face. I'm not an albino angel with wings either. Just that i'm too lazy to build enemies and much lazier to check what exactly they are up to. Never really had that sort of time and energy to invest. Having said that, my engineering background—failed engineering background, actually—allows me the exclusive thrill to see what's going on in the job market. And here's the news: I experience a bit of relish at others' (read: engineering students') expense. After reading that nearly 80% of the one million Indian engineers graduating every year are not real engineers in Mint, i'm feeling better. I'm supposed to be indifferent but no. Sorry, not happening. What a relief to know that engineers in India are sub-standard and companies are fed up of rampant mediocrity! As a result, they, like me, are now prepared to be underpaid for job's sake. Whoa! Blame it on the system. When youngsters enter college as engineering students only to bundle out as engineering students, what else can one expect? In my defense, i dropped out of college in my second year with a dismal scoresheet to boot. I could sense that i goofed up big time. But at least i didn't turn into a hapless techie. Not that i'm a Grade A journo today but there's a lot of scope along with hope. Math ensured that i'll never become a decent Electronics & Telecom engineer. I would have eventually joined the queue of wannabe engineers who never made it. Needless to espouse, it's better to be a wannabe film journalist.

PS: Since i started this post on my non-existent enemies, let me end it on an existing friend. I can't boast of too many non-virtual pals but amongst the minority group that i'm proud of, Tushar heads the list. And the most admirable thing about him is he has never asked me—not even once—why did i quit engineering. He simply never bothered to know.