Mindsetback

The little girl was one of the brightest kids around but had a learning disorder. So the principal summoned her parents to explain how things were in school. A discussion ensued on what could be done to help the case. After a good long 15 minutes, the principal turns to the mother and asks her whether she can quit her job. "You have an earning husband to take care of the expenses, don't you?" Of course, she doesn't retort the way she'd prefer to out of respect but every single voice in her head screams "Why me?" For some weird medieval reason, the principal assumed that it'd make sense to have the mother spend more time with the ward instead of the father. Not only that. The honourable principal even assumed that the husband was doing financially better than the wife. It didn't stop at that. The clincher being the principal was a woman too.

Veto for a change

It's that time of the year when we exercise our rights to bring new crooks into the Parliament. Once they are in, they'll do everything except work. The numbers of bills and acts that are pending in our system is mindboggling. Smaller countries with bigger problems fare better in this regard. Be it Congress or BJP, certain ground realities don't change. It's not ideology but basic refrain from ethics. Not like they are public servants for real. They are not. They get paid in money and kind and insurmountable privileges. If you don't think too much, it doesn't require NASA to figure out where exactly the problem lies then: They don't want to work. Plain and simple. If you're getting paid to paint the wall, it's your duty—not the wall's. And that's something the Parliamentarians fail to understand (or pretend to fail to understand). Sessions in and sessions out. But it also begs the question whether we're paying the right kind of painters. In other words, do they know anything about painting? At all?

A matter of appearance

Ever noticed how Bollywood actors always end up with either fellow actors or someone rich? It's almost like a script that all filmi stars adhere to. When was the last time an actor fell for not-so-rich commoner? It's a matter of convenience more than anything else. Nothing righteous about it but it's funny how the films they act in show the dominance of love over class. As if the idea of love in our society is not elitist. Off the big screen, rich sticks with rich and poor sticks with poor. The divide is too wide for cinema to fill. Again, nothing righteous about it but it's funny how they say love is unconditional when the very basis of an affair is based on the way how the couple will look like to others than to each other.

Vitamin M+

Blame capitalism. Blame the privileged lot. Blame the government. Blame whoever you want. The fact is and the fact remains that money is a wonderfool instrument in maintaining balance. It can give religion a cardiac arrest and orthodoxy, a kick in the balls. It can make the conservatives loosen up a bit and the poor, a shot at life. But its most intriguing quality is its ability to make others forget who you are. They see notes instead. Conveniently. It's cute how the lower rung of the society suffer the most in spite of sticking to their age old principles. On the other end, the upper class bend and break the rules according to their whims. Life is their playground. They do things their way and get away with it. It's all about wanting and getting. The fundamentals don't change though. Let's say, marriage. While the poor can't imagine his ward tying the knot with someone who doesn't belong to his community, the favoured folks can't afford to be THIS myopic. They get married according to the convenience of their cash-rich heart. Community, religion, traditions, etc be damned. And nobody questions who or why because everybody's busy queuing up at the grand buffet.

Trick or retreat?

The trick is to stay alive today. Tomorrow will compensate for yesterday.
The trick is to gather strength from the pessimism that surrounds you.
The trick is to be sure of what one wants from oneself instead of others.
The trick is to act as if you're unaffected.
The trick is to keep your dreams ungroped by reality.
The trick is to say no to what needs to be said no to.
The real trick is to make a living out of your thoughts.
The trick is to avoid being in awe of your own creation.
The trick is to maintain calm even after the storm.
The trick is to treat oneself better than others.
The trick is to survive for centuries in one form or the other.
The trick is to live and get away with it.
The trick is to STFU when you don't have anything interesting to say.
The trick is to do good for others without giving a damn about them.
The trick is to not let Tuesday behave like a Monday.
The trick is to feel bad for others before they return the favour.
The trick is to not be a victim of your own exaggerated awesomeness.
The trick is to know that you are crazy.
The trick is to avoid trading one's invisible soul for visible bylines.
The trick is to overcome the urge to feel sorry for oneself.
The trick is to treat yourself better before others do.
The trick is to touch as many lives as possible without being labeled a sex offender.
Bonus: There are 2 types of job. One in which the work travels to you and the other in which you travel to work. The trick is to escape both.

Questions you read...

I think my husband is going to cheat on me. My boyfriend doesn't take a bath. She wants to be always right—even when she's wrong. My neighbour is hitting on me while i'm hitting on another neighbour. My boss is promoting himself again. I'm 13 and have lost my heart to a 12yo boy. Is love a myth? I'm yet to reconcile with my breakup. Is he going to ditch me for his mother? My brother-in-law is gay. Who is responsible for my misery? I don't want to die but i don't have a reason to live. My parents are forcing me to marry a girl of their choice. I'm a Hindu and her dad is a former Hindu who converted to marry her Muslim mother. Is there any law against breaking hearts? She wants kids whereas i want pizza. My son thinks i'm a terrible mother. What's your best relationship mantra? Our class teacher will be remembered as a sex offender. My dad is having an affair while my mom is planning their wedding anniversary. If only i could move on and never look back. Divorcing my husband of nine months was the worst mistake of my life. It was our first time and she cried and i moaned. I want to quit this city and move to Kasauli. My penis is too small and heart, too big. How come you have ALL the answers? I'm into movies and she's into theatre. My lover is not proud of my skin complexion. She sings like a crow but doesn't know. I fell in love with an idiot. I want my mother to remarry and lead a happier life for a change. She doesn't reply back in time but gets angry when i do the same. Her family is a circus full of assholes. We haven't been on a holiday since our honeymoon. My body odour is keeping my enemies away. Are long distance relationships short-lived? She has a 4am friend even though i work night shifts. I don't wish to marry her or anyone else in my life. Isn't marriage passé? I want to live it up and live in. The liar is in love with my boobs. Which way is out? I like painting my metrosexual nails. She wants to know everything about us. If it were up to me, i'd have changed her life by not changing my mind. Why are we doomed to disappoint? He's a narcissist and i'm in love with him. She totally believes she's perfect. I hope i don't end up lonely writing a letter to an agony aunt someday. 

Fool by chance

The boy was returning home from school and stumbled upon a tenner on the street. Without a second thought, he quickly slipped it into his pocket. He could have very well bought half the town—if not the city itself—with THAT kind of cash. After all, he wasn't used to owning a ten-rupee note. However, he had no idea that his enthrallment was soon going to turn into violent dismay. As misfortune would have it, his mother found his treasure and quickly assumed that he must have stolen it from his dad's wallet. The poor (ironically!) kid couldn't convince her that he indeed got lucky on his way home. Anyway, what's the point in asking him for his side of the story when she's going to beat the bruises out of him whatsoever? So, before he could realize the extent of her misunderstanding, his skin had witnessed weals from the meant-to-beat-horse stick. In her defense, she couldn't come to terms with the assumption that her son could be a potential thief and a liar. Can't blame her. Too much stress and financial troubles leave you doubting everything; even your child's honesty as well as your parenting skills. At the same time, she couldn't find a closure to this 'problem' either. As usual, she turned to God and dragged the teary-eyed kid to the nearby temple. There, she made him drop the money into the hundi. Shiva must have had a hearty laugh at the face he made while following her orders. About an hour ago, that face belonged to the richest guy on the planet.