Sleepless L'affaire

I can’t sleep with my eyes open. Or should I say I cannot concentrate on sleeping!

Sleep is overestimated. It is a luxury. It doesn’t occur to everyone alike. Some get it. Some just dream about it with their unclosed sight. This has been my case since the end of school. Some like to call it insomnia or whatever but I prefer to call it life. I’ve never been a great sleeper, no pun intended whatsoever. Even during my hostel days, I used to defy the call of laziness and was a morning shiner. Oversleeping was never my forte, unlike my room partners who didn’t remember the date they went to sleep. Sometimes I wonder how lucky deaf people are, for they can sleep the tightest compared to those with discerning pair of ears!

There is nothing wrong with being an insomniac. It doesn’t kill you. Instantly, I mean. It kills you eventually like all other things, be it good or bad. But you can speed up the death part by worrying a lot about it. I say, worrying because now-a-days people have started confusing thinking with worrying. Worrying is not thinking. Simple as that!

Insomnia is a spell. You may grab 4 hours sleep one day and just two the other. There is nothing fixed. No patterns. Nothing works. Only you do and your weary imagination does. The longest I’ve gone awake or should I call it “the enlightened phase” is 43 hours. Now I don’t like talking about it as its nothing to be proud of but whenever folks ask me what I did during that phase, I reply “I watched movies after movies after movies and wrote some of my dearest poems…”

“Dark night sang her lullaby to my sweet ears but deaf was I to hear them without keeping my eyes open.”

Even right now, I’m awake. What more can I say!

Shashi Tharoor resigns to political designs

For those who follow current affairs, must be knowing by now that Shashi Tharoor won’t be having an easy sleep tonight. He offered his resignation as Junior Foreign Minister and quite sadly, the Prime Minister accepted it impromptu.

Let me state first that I’m a huge fan of Mr. Tharoor. I believe he’s a fresh breath of air for Indian politics that is mired under the hopeless weight of decadence. Before entering political field, Tharoor was serving for United Nations with an impeccable record and almost clinched the Secretary General post, had it not been for United States’ meddling. Soon after, he left UN and headed to his home state Kerala and decided to contest general election from Trivandrum for Congress. Astonishingly, he won Parliament seat and was made Junior Foreign Minister under the UPA government. With senile SM Krishna at the top of Foreign Affairs, no one would doubt that he was to become India’s next Foreign Minister.

But one thing stayed firm: He was a political outsider who won’t have it easy with his western demeanor.

People say he puts foot into mouth and speaks out of turn. I don’t buy that. Unlike most other politicians, he has opinions, opinions that matter and he isn’t afraid to put them forth through mass media. If that is wrong, then the very idea of India adopting democracy is wrong.

The only time I felt he went out of sync was when he got himself into the big bad money spinning world of IPL which is headed by the egoistical Lalit Modi. Tharoor voiced his support for Kochi’s inclusion into the franchise for next season. He wanted Kerala to be on the cricket map and considering the lack of investment in this predominantly “Left” state (that is famous for infamous attitude towards any sort of revenue generating idea), IPL was a welcome move.

We are all well aware of Tharoor’s love for the gentleman’s game but that decision was the beginning of undone for him. The episode started with Modi questioning the identity of multi-crore stakeholders in Kochi team. After a week-long hue and cry with the opposition party accusing him of deigning to secure his girlfriend‘s stake in Kochi team, Tharoor gave up and resigned.

I can’t say Tharoor is clean or not but I can surely say that he paid a huge price compared to other people on the dais who have the audacity to judge him now. I don’t want to sound political but the whole Parliament reeks of distasteful scent of corruption and no one gets hurt there. Every one of them is safe thanks to their clout. On the other hand, Tharoor was left alone to defend himself against charges in Lok Sabha. Not even his home party voiced any support. The biggest surprise was the lack of any warmth from his home state for which he supposedly used his “influence”!!

Tomorrow’s newspaper will have interesting headlines but nothing will change the equilibrium of common sense. For we all know that unlike the spiteful politicians we are so used to, Tharoor inspired the new generation to think about our country for once. Unlike them, he practiced what he preached. And most importantly, unlike them, he paid a price to an open question of whether he was truly guilty or not. He is a role model for millions of Youngistanis and I’m not talking about Twitter alone. His reach towards youth is par expectation and something not seen since the days of our freedom struggle.

Shashi Tharoor resigned with no fault of *our* own. But the fact of the matter remains that he's still a parliamentarian and an able one at that so I wish he comes back stronger than ever and don’t give up this easily to unfair sagacity.

No more INSANE Sania marriage news!

Today is a historic day. Sania Mirza got married. At last. And by any media calculation, it means the end of circus.

We, hoi polloi, on both side of the border were glued to this drama for over three weeks now and no matter how much we hated the futile news coverage, we didn’t dare ignore the charade.

Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Sania Mirza. To me, she had something of a wonder run and then she got caught on the wrong side of fame. She is the first Indian to cover a lot of milestones in the field of tennis but then she could have done a lot better had she stayed focused on her on-court preparations rather than off-court distractions. She could have been the Saina Nehwal of tennis, which sounds a bit clichéd now! Alas.

Coming back to her marriage part, I thought, isn’t it too early for her to jump the wedding gun. She’s of my age and I don’t think 23 is an ideal age to marry considering her incredible “second-round-success” on WTA tour. She should have waited a bit longer for her form to return. Who knows she just could have got her form back, which is almost non-existent just like her alleged wrist injuries. Whatever, who am I to suggest anything and who is she to waste my blog space!

I’m also a bit aghast at her choice of beau. I mean, I’m sure almost all of us must have had this thought, “…couldn’t she find something better??!!”. I too felt the same given Shoaib Malik’s history of tasting his foot again and again with no fault of his for we are born the way we are and some of us learn and some of us just, well, run. I remember his famous gaffe after Pakistan defeated India and he went onto thank all the Muslims in the world for supporting Pakistan, forgetting that there were two active Muslim players in Indian side at that time, if not, millions of Indian Muslims right over the border!

Anyways, it’s her life and in a more generalized sense, she’s doing what very few Indian girls do and that is breaking historically-built barriers. I just hope she finds happiness wherever she is, for she belongs to us.

If death kisses me goodbye!

Whenever I talk about death, people think I'm being naive but in reality I'm just being futuristic! Now is that bad thing? No.

I keep thinking of death as if I’m older than I already am. I'm 23 but I feel like "world oldest 23 year old" so no wonder I can’t escape the question of how and when I'll be seeing my end. I believe life is unpredictable but death is totally unsustainable. It has this overpowering clout over restless heart.

Now what will happen if I die (either by train, road, freak accidents or whatever) today or tomorrow or day after tomorrow????

I guess the biggest change will be on my most visited Internet websites. I say so considering all the other deeds I've done in my life span. I don’t think anything comes close to the kind of passion I have for “virtual world” which in fact, seems more genuine than the real world I breathe in. If I overlook my failures being a loser that I am, I guess Internet has been a super-duper success for me. I have a voice on Internet pages and I don’t care whether it’s heard or not!

Once I’m dead, the first change will be noticed on my Twitter timeline! There won’t be any updates about what I’m thinking. The timeline will just pause. It won’t move ahead, just like that. No more sharing of stupid ideas passed off as wisdom or office-bashing lines or #JustSaying tweets or news-related links. Secondly my Facebook page will face the same calamity. I don’t know how my friends will react to this because they will be having no idea that I’m in hell waiting for them!

Talking of my virtual world friends, I guess they will be left in the lurch of ignorance as there won’t be any worldwide networking of the news of my departure. It would be as silent as it was before I entered the Internet age and found myself a comfortable space among these wonderful people (or tweeple as we call them now) I love to interact with. But then, I think they’ll give up on me. It is inevitable. My Internet pals in NYC or Romania or Pakistan won’t come looking for me in Mumbai once I stopped tweeting or social networking!

I also wonder about the kind of effort I put in on updating my Twitter 140-space, Facebook profile. I mean, no one will do that for me once I’m gone. I also worry about my Twitter handle, I mean, who will take care of that?!! And also what will happen to this devil-forsaken blog which is overwhelmingly forgettable, at best!

I know these are all speculations but it’s worthy. I don’t count my family here. That’s due to the fact that they are not as dysfunctional as I would like them to be. You have to be on either end of the extremes to be mentioned in my blog! Ah! So they better be left out of my foretasted death scenario.

On the other side, I just love my life on Twitter, Facebook and blogspot, not to mention several other sites where I regularly contribute my time. I’m an Internet addict, if that’s what you are pondering as of now and I wish to be this way till sanity (or death...whichever comes first) takes over!

Hanging up my chalks!

I started teaching SSC kids English in 2007. I wasn’t supposed to do that. But I did like always, going against popular opinion!

Amma was strongly against my decision to spend weekends with students instead of studying. She, herself being a teacher in Kannada medium, was well aware of its impediments. She was into teaching “field” as she never considered it a “business”. To her, it was a way of saying thanks to her parents who gifted her education. Her argument was that one person from family was enough for the deed. Even my dad’s dad was a primary school teacher and had the most beautiful handwriting of all. At least my dad says so.

Teaching is a noble job. It brings with it this magnanimous attitude that is remarkably different from anything else you do in life. Connecting with kids, hearing their side of confusion, maintaining discipline and conversation on the same line are some of the facets that inject adrenaline on an otherwise dull morning.

Fastforward to 2010, I’ve decided I won’t be teaching anymore. No more sleepless weekends for me. I guess I’ve grown out of this stupid idea of “changing the world” with education. It’s not a worthy fight. Honestly. Every time I came back home, I had pictures of those kids in my mind who never spoke or were too mischievous to even care. It was always good apples and bad apples. On a lighter note, I’m tired of selling false dreams to these students for they’ll learn the way of life sooner or later and they’ll know that it isn’t going to be an easy ride either!

I was the youngest staff member too everywhere I went, be it classes, community school or small-time tuitions. And I’m happy I’m still young while I’m getting away from it to explore unseen avenues like learn French or violin or whatever. Teaching was the best thing I ever did in my godforsaken pale life and like they say, “Once a former teacher, always a former teacher!”