Do you get that feeling you're way too awesome for this planet? If you do, congrats! You must be a modern-day messiah. You are exactly what humankind has been waiting for so long. You're the reason why aliens never landed on our soil. Not that they'll do anytime soon but at least they'll have a good enough excuse to. You're the Moses of legs and the Muhammad of chastity. Our species deserves to be delivered by you and it's high time you converted water to beer. Speaking of which, we want you to moonwalk on water. In return, we promise to celebrate your birthday according to your birth certificate, not by some folklore. There's much more in store. So don't waste time and let's get cracking. To begin with, why not provide you with what Jesse had two millennia ago?