I want to...

I don’t really believe in jotting down New Year resolutions. Not for lack of trying but the concept loses its hold within weeks, if not days. At least that has been the case with me. Before you realize it, the initial thrill gives way to drag. If there was a way to continue feeling the way we felt on 1st Jan, then things would have been completely different. Sadly, that ain’t the case. If it was, i would have gained a book or two instead of gaining weight in 2016. Anyhow, there’s no harm in thinking out loud what one really wants to accomplish in the coming days, if not weeks.

Spend more time on reading. I genuinely upped the scale last year by sitting through short profiles, long essays, longer stories (fiction as well non), endless parables, enlightening anecdotes and some books. Perhaps it’s high time i covered more books this time around. My problem with reading is i’m not a fluent reader. I read a page and if i come across even one doubt, i google the shit out of it. That’s a literal getting stuck in a black hole scenario.

Invest more time on writing. Again, i raised the previous limits by wording my thoughts on several platforms. I was pretty decent at updating my blog too, if one excuses the miniskirt versions of blog posts. Similarly, i was active on Twitterverse except for the 3-month break i took in March-May. In 2017, i want to do productive writing and complete those two stories i should have completed back in 2015!

Prioritize before it’s too late. I’m 30 and not getting any younger. I should see things clearer by now but that’s not happened yet. Although i’m not fond of the C-word, one must know what they are aiming towards. A set goal—with respect to time, of course— has to be in place. It could be for anything from doing something on a professional level to attempting something on a personal level irrespective of the result.

Be healthy. I’ve got way too many health issues for someone my age. Frequent headrush, migraine and acid reflux are three of the prime villains but there are many more under the surface. I need to get going. Like for real. Sedentary lifestyle, where entertaining stress is the only known workout, won’t help in the long run. Speaking of which, i got to run. And put those running shoes i ordered last year to work. 

Embrace positivity. For years, i’ve been the patron saint of pessimism. If you ask me whether this/that can be done, my answer is seldom yes. I hate uplifting my hopes and then disappoint others. Perhaps it’s time to embrace optimism and see the light without moving towards the tunnel’s end.

Loosen up a bit. No, no, i’m perfectly fine with my won’t-drink-can’t-smoke-no-nothing policy. No doubt i consumed a lot of painkillers in 2016, i’ve noticed that my otherwise conservative outlook has eaten into my spirit too. If i’m not mistaken, one tends to become boring (because you avoid people who allegedly enjoy life) and rigid (because your OCD doesn’t allow you to relax at all) and pitiful (because you’re leading a cleaner yet unhealthy lifestyle) when you are like me. 

Sleep sounder. I don't know how but i must ensure i go back to the short-lived routine of sleeping by 10.30pm and waking up by 6.30am. 

Adhere to silence. Although i went quiet on social media back in 2010, my real world persona continues to be that of a person who isn’t comfortable with silence. Small surprise why i not only end up striking conversations all around me but i’m also the one who’d say hello first. I guess i’m the only person on the entire floor who talks to the security guys! A bit of restrained wordlessness won’t hurt because i'm tired of making others comfortable.

Believe. And go against the very first sentence of this vain blog post.

Welcoming 2010!

Goodbye Noughties. We’ll miss you. So 2010 is here. And I’m still left behind. I’ll be turning 24 in less than 5 months and I’ve still got no idea where the heck I’m heading. A year has ended but still nothing seems to change. Even today, I have no graduation degree, no valid academics except a token diploma in Electronics & Telecom which I loathe and I’m still neck-deep in my world cinema, music, knowledge, trivia, Twitter, Facebook and devil-knows-what-not!

And yes, my fingers. They are still dancing for me like they did last year too. Dance with the same spirit that Basanti did for Viru in Sholay. This may sound a bit strange but it’s true. My fingers. I do have a job. A transcriber’s job. A job enough for my needs. Had it not been for my fingers I wouldn’t have made it here, to this point where I’m blogging, posting and tweeting as per my wish. That’s what is helping me keep my head above my shoulder and avoid facepalms! But the dark side is its toll on my body. I’m a perpetual time criminal now. That means I hardly concur anything on time. I don’t even wear a watch for that sake!

I’m currently working as a business transcriber in one of the coolest company you’ll ever come across. Cool in the sense it hardly has any formality rules that plague most of the other companies. It doesn’t restrict people from wearing clothes or shoes of their choice nor bother with the kind of hairdos we prefer. I love it but am not sure for how long I’ll be loving it!!

So I want something new with this year like I often do in the month of January that eventually fades away with no remorse, as the year-train picks up speed. So that brings me to my first concern-- my career. I never wanted a career in the first place. I wished to live my life like a nomad and end it like a gypsy, full of color. That was what I dreamt of. I wanted to travel and I’m traveling too. The only problem is I’m not traveling enough. That’s a dream and like all dreams, my reality too has to stop by to stare at me sometimes.

It’s impossible to define time and how fast it runs on basis of the kind of life we live. Time is just a parameter to set things uniform in this fast skipping world. What matters is what you have done with the time available. Well, I don’t know of others, but for me, time hasn’t really existed. We exist, time doesn’t. That’s what I’ve believed and I hope to keep it the same this year too. I don’t need to mould myself to the concerns and securities of the society I live in where the crooked mental prison is build and then advertised so that you feel safe. I won’t give in to any such nonsense. At least I’ll try this year too.