Two unwritten rules apply to Mumbai’s local trains. 1. There’s always room for one more passenger no matter how jam-packed a given compartment is. 2. Always expect a co-commuter to crack a good one. Both these rules were observed recently on the Central Line. As the train slowly picked up speed at Kurla, a gentleman with a bagpack somehow managed to catch the train. Not comfortable with the idea of hanging on the footboard, he pushed his way in—to fellow passengers’ utter discomfort. On top of that, he made a rather nasty remark while standing on someone’s toes. “Zoo jaise ho gaya hai train aaj kal,” said our hero as he stood on his toes. He wasn’t expecting any rebuttal when somebody not that far away from him reparteed, “Bas ek gadhe ki kami thi.” Needless to mention, the resulting laugh must have made the commuters forget—for a little while—the inhumane manner in which they travel daily.