I often joke that i don’t wish to die until i’m 250. Sounds far-fetched, i know. But i’m dead sure about this curious ambition of mine. (OK, not dead enough.) I’m serious though. Furthermore, i’ve already taken some baby steps towards my attempt at elongated immortality. For instance, i’m embracing optimism like Pope John Paul embraced AIDS patients (and contributed more to the cause than any of our Facebook likes). The key to healthy living is not succumbing to pessimism. I’m cynical by nature and i’m trying to change that. I don’t drink nor smoke. Never did, anyway. Gotta do justice to liver’s name while breathing life into lungs. (I reckon that sounds as stupid on this page as it did in my head!) I sleep before the clock strikes 12 and wake up before 7.30 in the morning. I’ve started eating as little as possible—at one go—like those KateMosslike sadhus in the Himalayas. I breathe deeply and drink lot of water. I’ve abandoned coffee (once again) and working on giving up morning tea as well. I don’t hold back pee as I used to, earlier. My job ain’t going to last forever. Neither will my bladder. But 250 is a huge number and i’ll appreciate proper bodily functions in the long run. Speaking of running, i walk like Gandhi. I don’t advise anyone anymore. There’s no point in guiding others while you yourself are lost and raring to be found. I’m content. I’ve stopped worrying about questions related to my future. (What’s-going-to-happen, Why-was-Fassbender-alloted-bigger-penis, Is-it-because-of-the-closeness-between-ass-and-bend-in-his-surname, etc). I don’t argue. In any case, that was done with my family members. Been there, not doing it again. I let them win by repeating what i’m so damn good at: letting others win. The lesson i’ve learnt is there’s no such thing as a future. We’ve got only one thing going for us: the present. The moment we drop dead, all the set equations change. Back to cipher it goes. The world is kindest to those who’ve run their course. So the plan is to prolong this very course by staying back and not budging until India lifts the football World Cup. And thus outlive your enemies, wondering how to celebrate your victory over them without them to witness it.