Consolations in life

• At least coffee doesn't pretend to be something it ain't. 
• At least my sorrows are above average. 
• At least nobody is vying to have the perfect soul. 
• At least our lame one-liners shall outlive us. 
• At least the trees stand up for what they believe in.
• At least mosquitoes don't talk behind your back.
• At least pretend to pay attention while i'm talking to you.
• At least your demons are madly in love with you.
• At least the crazy ones don't pretend to be normal.
• At least be honest to your lies.
• At least ISIS has job vacancies.
• At least those who click selfies aren't selfish.
• At least cricketers don't dive.
• At least Hindus can always claim reincarnation as the last resort.
• At least show confidence when you're doing something wrong.
• At least scratch my back before you stab it.
• At least pain is paying attention to you.
• At least Monday comes to an end. 
• At least the suiciders aren't commitment-phobic.
• At least the believers aren't lazybones. 
• At least our enemies don't disappoint us.
• At least the damaged folks accept who they are.
• At least the liberals in Pakistan aren't hypocritical like ours. 
• At least those who change their DPs accept that they're ageing.
• At least our shadows resemble each other.
• At least the losers can claim to be self-made.
• At least those who can't speak don't lie.
• At least the Army doesn't tweet during working hours.
• At least science doesn't expect us go on a pilgrimage.
• At least the illiterates are spared from writing suicide notes.
• At least nobody can hate us more than we hate ourselves.
• At least the misogynist jokes pay full attention to women.
• At least they won't levy doping charges against Indian athletes. 
• At least fat people don't crack thin jokes. 
• At least the women in urban India have a voice.
• At least we can try to be happy.