Saturday, November 15, 2014

Arrogance of love

Before you judge me i must say i'm not an expert on human relationships but i've learnt a bit about it. THAT still doesn't make me a scholar on the subject. I accept. Regardless, you've got no choice but to dispense yourself with what i'm trying to espouse. Shall you excuse moi while i pretend to be a professor?
You see, i've come to an unsteady conclusion: Relationships fail because of love, not in spite of it.
Let me tell you why.
When you love someone dearly, over a period of time, your love—no matter how selfless or unconditional it is in practical nature—you create a bubble of arrogance for yourself. And this creation is self-sustaining more than anything else. It is seldom vile but when unchecked, it can lead to ruin. For instance, when parents adore their kid, the latter grow along with the former, and eventually lead to a point where they develop immense pride in him/her. There's arrogance in their relationship but nobody sees it unless all the parties involved reach a situation where one of them has to leave the nest. It could be a divorce or the kid moving to college. If it's a divorce, both the father and the mother would be of the opinion that they are best for the kid's future. There's arrogance in their love towards their ward but they are conveniently forgetting the love they once had for each other. If the kid is moving out to build a nuclear life, the parents have no choice but to rest on the arrogance of love they have for their faraway kid. Love can be a brutal force that can make or break a person. 
Speaking of which, this A-word i'm constantly proposing here applies to two individuals in love. Many a time, what happens is that each one of them assumes that s/he love the other person more than the other way around. Since you can't measure love, it becomes a figment of one's belief system. The girl thinks she loves the guy more while he happens to believe the vice versa. This benign looking arrogance might keep the relationship strong but if it fails to do so, then it might hurt badly too. After all, both the individuals led a life thinking they were emotionally invested in the relationship more than their partner. They thought there was no insecurity on neither side. But weren't they mistaken for naively coming up with a thought that eventually led them to fall apart? It's human nature perhaps to compare everything only to go with your own analysis. Just like every employee in a company tends to blindly accept that s/he's the hardest working person in the building. Thankfully, there is no arrogance of love involved in a professional relationship. Maybe that's why it doesn't affect us much while we hop from one job profile to another.

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