Getting hammered

There was a time, not very long ago, i wondered whether carrying a walking cane would be appropriate. No, not for support. Just like that. I thought it'd add character to my non-existence (FYI, this was 2011). Later, i developed a fascination with smoking pipe. I simply loved the way scientists and philosophers held one in the corner of their mouths and accomplished three tasks synchronously: smoking, talking and charming. As expected, i neither got a cane nor a pipe. As of today, i've bred a new passion. A burning desire to hold a hammer in my hand and walk around. Yup, a wooden hammer. I'd love to brandish it while strolling in a mall or walking on a street and better still, even while taking the stairs in office. Just like that (again). Of course, the idea isn't to scare or hurt. If at all, anybody raises objection, i'd rebutt by pointing out that they carry around their cellphones even when they aren't using them. It could be a weapon of mass destruction too. All one needs to do is aim (to scare) and throw (to hurt) accurately, isn't it? On that note, it'd be supercool to hold a walking cane in one hand and a wooden hammer in another while balancing a non-smoking pipe in my mouth.